Arnav stared long after Payal, soaking in everything she had hurled at him.
He had done it again, he, Arnav Singh Raizada, had jumped to conclusions and misjudged Khushi's character yet again...it wasn't a first, their history was blazing proof of the many times he had misunderstood Khushi and her intentions. And now he had done it again and this time he couldn't be forgiven...he shouldn't be, not after the horrendous crime he had committed, not after hurting Khushi so much that she had lost hope, hope...the one thing that made Khushi the person she was and he had taken that very thing from her... he was a monster like Khushi often playfully had called him and now he had taken her...
Payal was right he had killed her, she may be breathing, but she had died inside, because he, after everything she had done for him he had not trusted her...after everything she had put up with he had cast her off...
Payal was right she and Khushi should regret that cursed moment he and Khushi had met...he regretted it...not for himself but for Khushi...if she had never met him then she would still be Khushi...happy, perky, cheery...making everybody's life as sweet as her...
Why? Why did he do these things...why did he always hurt her...not trust her? He who knew her so well, knew how she had been raised, knew what made her tick how had he then failed to understand her? Why had he not understood her? Why had he refused to believe her, when every fibre in his body had shouted at him that she was innocent...why was it so hard for him to trust...trust the one person who he knew could never cause him harm...why...why?
Arnav slumped to the pool floor. Cradling his face in his hands. What had he done?!! Every pain that he had inflicted on Khushi flashed before his eyes and seared his lungs. Making it difficult for him to breathe. He grabbed onto his sides and glupped for some fresh air but it wouldn't come. He was drowning, drowning in the pool of darkness he himself had created. At first he tried and resisted, tried to come out of it, but then all the agony he had put Khushi through began to fill his mind and he let himself go...he didn't deserve to live...he deserved this horrible suffocation...he deserved to die after everything he had done to Khushi...Khushi...his sweet sweet Khushi...her sparkling eyes with a hint of mischief...her teasing smile that had so much innocence in it...her infectious laugh...her melodious voice calling out his name...Arnav ji...
Arnav's head jerked up as he heard her voice reverberate in his head...Arnav ji...No. No he wouldn't...he couldn't let her go that easily...not after he finally understood her...after she was almost his...he couldn't lose her. He leaped up and bounded down the stairs. He wasn't going to sit and drown himself in misery when his wife, his Khushi was losing the will to live and that too because of him. He couldn't sulk, he didn't have a right too, right now he had to find Khushi. Find her. Reach out to her. Revive her. Apologise to her. A sorry would never be enough for the pain he had caused her but it was a start. And he needed to make a start to earn her forgiveness. He owed her that much, after everything he had put her through. After everything she had been through for him.
He halted in front of the mandir, and his heart skipped a beat. She wasn't there. He scanned the mandir and the lounge but he couldn't see her anywhere. Where was she? And then the terror gripped him. Had she...had his worst nightmare come true...the memory of Khushi on the roof-top in Laxmi-nagar replayed in his head...no...no...she wouldn't...would she? Well the answer was simple and it horrified him, a normal Khushi would never even think of doing such a horrendous act, but Khushi wasn't in a normal state was she...his ego had made sure of that. She was a lifeless, a hopeless Khushi...and anything was possible in that state.
Arnav's heart began to race as he sprinted to the roof-top. He slammed the door open and yelled with all his might...
'KHUSHI!!!!!!'
But she wasn't there either. Arnav's heart slumped... was he too late...had she...had she already...he couldn't complete that thought even in his head. He nervously edged towards the boundary of the roof. His heart beating a thousand beats per minute. He gripped the edge and peered over. And then his heart gave in and he slumped to the roof floor.
She wasn't there...she wasn't there...she wasn't there...as that thought began sinking in, Arnav began to shed tears...tears of happiness...she was alive...she was still alive...she hadn't committed suicide...she was still alive...she was still alive...this meant there was hope...if she hadn't reverted to such an extreme decision that meant she hadn't lost all hope. His Khushi was still there...somewhere. Granted she wasn't in the best of places, and she was miserable, but she was there and he would bring her back! He had to. How could he not, when it was he who had sentenced her to that misery then it was his duty to bring her back. And bring her back he would.
With that resolve formed, he wiped his tears and got up to bring his Khushi back. However he had reached only the stairs when a new thought halted his steps...Khushi wasn't in the mandir, she wasn't on the roof, she hadn't been in the room, so where was she?!! And then it occurred to him and he headed for his car. Of course Khushi would have gone there...the only place she managed to calm herself and get her bearings again. Her home. Her family. She must have gone to Bua ji's, and so Arnav motored after her.
He had done it again, he, Arnav Singh Raizada, had jumped to conclusions and misjudged Khushi's character yet again...it wasn't a first, their history was blazing proof of the many times he had misunderstood Khushi and her intentions. And now he had done it again and this time he couldn't be forgiven...he shouldn't be, not after the horrendous crime he had committed, not after hurting Khushi so much that she had lost hope, hope...the one thing that made Khushi the person she was and he had taken that very thing from her... he was a monster like Khushi often playfully had called him and now he had taken her...
Payal was right he had killed her, she may be breathing, but she had died inside, because he, after everything she had done for him he had not trusted her...after everything she had put up with he had cast her off...
Payal was right she and Khushi should regret that cursed moment he and Khushi had met...he regretted it...not for himself but for Khushi...if she had never met him then she would still be Khushi...happy, perky, cheery...making everybody's life as sweet as her...
Why? Why did he do these things...why did he always hurt her...not trust her? He who knew her so well, knew how she had been raised, knew what made her tick how had he then failed to understand her? Why had he not understood her? Why had he refused to believe her, when every fibre in his body had shouted at him that she was innocent...why was it so hard for him to trust...trust the one person who he knew could never cause him harm...why...why?
Arnav slumped to the pool floor. Cradling his face in his hands. What had he done?!! Every pain that he had inflicted on Khushi flashed before his eyes and seared his lungs. Making it difficult for him to breathe. He grabbed onto his sides and glupped for some fresh air but it wouldn't come. He was drowning, drowning in the pool of darkness he himself had created. At first he tried and resisted, tried to come out of it, but then all the agony he had put Khushi through began to fill his mind and he let himself go...he didn't deserve to live...he deserved this horrible suffocation...he deserved to die after everything he had done to Khushi...Khushi...his sweet sweet Khushi...her sparkling eyes with a hint of mischief...her teasing smile that had so much innocence in it...her infectious laugh...her melodious voice calling out his name...Arnav ji...
Arnav's head jerked up as he heard her voice reverberate in his head...Arnav ji...No. No he wouldn't...he couldn't let her go that easily...not after he finally understood her...after she was almost his...he couldn't lose her. He leaped up and bounded down the stairs. He wasn't going to sit and drown himself in misery when his wife, his Khushi was losing the will to live and that too because of him. He couldn't sulk, he didn't have a right too, right now he had to find Khushi. Find her. Reach out to her. Revive her. Apologise to her. A sorry would never be enough for the pain he had caused her but it was a start. And he needed to make a start to earn her forgiveness. He owed her that much, after everything he had put her through. After everything she had been through for him.
He halted in front of the mandir, and his heart skipped a beat. She wasn't there. He scanned the mandir and the lounge but he couldn't see her anywhere. Where was she? And then the terror gripped him. Had she...had his worst nightmare come true...the memory of Khushi on the roof-top in Laxmi-nagar replayed in his head...no...no...she wouldn't...would she? Well the answer was simple and it horrified him, a normal Khushi would never even think of doing such a horrendous act, but Khushi wasn't in a normal state was she...his ego had made sure of that. She was a lifeless, a hopeless Khushi...and anything was possible in that state.
Arnav's heart began to race as he sprinted to the roof-top. He slammed the door open and yelled with all his might...
'KHUSHI!!!!!!'
But she wasn't there either. Arnav's heart slumped... was he too late...had she...had she already...he couldn't complete that thought even in his head. He nervously edged towards the boundary of the roof. His heart beating a thousand beats per minute. He gripped the edge and peered over. And then his heart gave in and he slumped to the roof floor.
She wasn't there...she wasn't there...she wasn't there...as that thought began sinking in, Arnav began to shed tears...tears of happiness...she was alive...she was still alive...she hadn't committed suicide...she was still alive...she was still alive...this meant there was hope...if she hadn't reverted to such an extreme decision that meant she hadn't lost all hope. His Khushi was still there...somewhere. Granted she wasn't in the best of places, and she was miserable, but she was there and he would bring her back! He had to. How could he not, when it was he who had sentenced her to that misery then it was his duty to bring her back. And bring her back he would.
With that resolve formed, he wiped his tears and got up to bring his Khushi back. However he had reached only the stairs when a new thought halted his steps...Khushi wasn't in the mandir, she wasn't on the roof, she hadn't been in the room, so where was she?!! And then it occurred to him and he headed for his car. Of course Khushi would have gone there...the only place she managed to calm herself and get her bearings again. Her home. Her family. She must have gone to Bua ji's, and so Arnav motored after her.
*****