'What?!!' he heard Aakash exclaim as he shrunk away from them to claim the support of the solid wall. Khushi was pregnant. She was someone else's woman. That stung, he didn't know why, but it hurt to know that she had a man in her life. A man who knew her so intimately. Whom she shared an understanding with. With whom she had fathered a child. They both must have been so excited to know about the baby, how many plans must they have construed already. And now he, Arnav Singh Raizada had threatened that very happiness. Oh, how much Khushi must hate him. Her baby had probably not even survived, hence the doctor hadn't even realised. That's why she was pointing to to her abdomen; she was trying to tell them that she was pregnant. Oh God what had he done? How many lives had his anger distroyed?
'Khushi is pregnant?!! And you didn't tell me?!! Payal I am asking you something!!' Aakash thundered as Payal tried to ignore his questions and move towards Khushi and the doctor, who was now examining Khushi's bloodwork and ordering the nurse to set up the Ultra-Sound.
'Yes Aakash she is pregnant, she has been for the past two months and yes you have every right to be angry with me for not telling you, but right now can we concentrate on the more important matter, of whether her baby is safe or not, afterwards you can interrogate me as much as you like on the subject. Ok?' Seeing her point, although not completely convinced whether Shyam's baby was a priority, he backed off as at the end of the day he could get the story later, right now it was important to know if it was still alive or not and if not, then the removal procedure as well as Khushi's emotional trauma would have to be dealt with.
'Mrs Rai, are you sure your sister is pregnant?' Dr. Nisha asked, preplexed by the reports in her hand.
'Yes.' Both Khushi and Payal replied, as Khushi stretched out her right hand to Payal for support in case of bad news.
'Hmm...not according to her bloodwork. Her eostrogen levels are normal.' Dr. Nisha said aloud as she went through the chart again.
'What does that mean? She is two months pregnant.' Payal asked not understanding.
'Hunnh!' Khushi took a sharp intake of breath as the doctors words seeped through, 'Does that...that means I...L-l-lost my baby?!!!' She began to whimper as she clutched her flat, empty abdomen. 'Jiji...' she wailed, 'my b-b-baby...I L-lost it...I lost the man I loved, my baby...I lost everything Jiji' Payal took her into a hug as she too began to shake, with the grief that hit her with Khushi's cries.
Oh God, Khushi's husband was dead?!!! Could this day get any worse? He had first screamed at her for not understanding what it felt to loose someone you loved, when she clearly knew what it felt like and then had driven her to a house about to be demolated. That had led to her loosing her baby and the only thing probably keeping her going after she lost her love, just the way LaANK had kept him going after Lavanya's death. What a terrible mess he had made of things. How was he ever going to meet her eyes? Her sight made his heart wrench, he was responsible for the agony she was in right now. How could he have done that to her...he was aching to hold her in his arms the way her sister was and apologise for the grief he had caused...but he couldn't. She would hate him, as she should.
'My b-ba-by Ji-ji...my baby...' Khushi trembled, 'I lost m-my b-bab-y.'
'No. No. You didn't loose it Ms Gupta...' the doctor cut in, after finaly putting down the charts and coming to a conclusion. Both the girls looked up at her with hope in their eyes, 'You...' how was she supposed to say this without setting them on a crying spree again, 'you never had it.' She said in a soothing voice. The whole room stared at her not following.
'I...I don't understand.' Said Khushi finally, voicing Payal, Aakash and Arnav's confusion. Who now all looked at the doctor and waited for her to explain what she meant.
'Ms. Gupta I don't believe you were ever pregnant. You didn't lose the baby, you cannot lose what you didn't have.' She explained.
'Wha- No. I was pregnant. I had a baby. I felt it. Well not it exactly but...I... all the symptoms, my morning sickness, my swollen feet, my soar body and teats. And even weight gain, it all happened, yes the last month I lost the bit of weight I had gained, but the rest it all happened...' Khushi argued, not believing the doctor. It could not be possible she knew she was pregnant. She was! She was!
'Many things could have caused all those things, it doesn't necessarily mean that you were pregnant. Did you just think cause of all that you were pregnant?' she asked, not hiding the skepticism in her voice fully. Afterall, their shout about the pregnancy had made her panic herself, loosing a patient was devastating as it was but losing a an unborn child was an experience one could not even describe in words and then having to tell the mother that she had lost it, was even worse.
'No, but her periods stopped too. Tell her Khushi.' Payal now joined the dispute with her sister, not believing the doctor. Khushi managed a nod, between a sob.
'Well that can be due to a lot of things too, not just pregnancy. You just lost someone close to you right. It's understandable for your period to act up when a major trauma occurs in your life, it can stop or can come heavier and longer than usual.'
Both the girls were silent. Could it be? Was that why her periods had stopped? Had she never been pregnant but only believed it? But then what about the test?
'Yes!' Khushi shouted aloud, causing the others to jump around her, she turned to the doctor triumphantly, how would she explain this, Khushi had not hallucinated, the test had shown her to be pregnant, 'What about the test?'
'What test?' the doctor asked, not quite following.
'I did a pregnancy test, it came positive. I didn't just go on symptoms, I actually checked.' Khushi explained, realising that neither the doctor nor any of the other's in the room had known what she was thinking. This declaration about the test did stump the doctor, if she wasn't pregnant then how come the test showed it, unless...
'Wait, which test did you do? As in, did you get it done in a clinic or at home?' She inquired.
'At home.' Khushi replied, now a little worried, did that mean it could be wrong? That possibility had never occurred to her, before. To redo the test.
'And did you follow the intstructions exactly?'
Khushi nodded.
'Are you sure? You didn't delay in checking the result?' she further interrogated.
'No, I che- she began answering but stopped, as she remembered, that she had not checked it straight away for Bua ji had banged on the door just after she was done asking for detergent, thus delaying her retrieving the result. 'I did delay a little in checking the result.' She replied in a quiet voice.
'Well then that would explain why you got a false positive. Home-pregnancy tests are not always correct, although they generally known give a false negative rather then a false positive, but the latter has been known to happen in some cases and the main cause of that is delay in checking the results. Which is what happened with a you, Khushi: you were never pregnant, I'm sorry I know it will not be easy to learn this. But it is, what it is.'
Khushi was silent. She didn't know how to react anymore, she couldn't mourn for something she didn't have, yet it still felt like she had lost it. How did one behave in a situation like this? Were they supposed to be happy for not having lost a baby or sad for never having been pregnant?
'I...I don't understand. If it was a false positive then why was she getting sick and soar? I get that the test gave the wrong result, but I don't understand why she still got bloated at times and felt sick?'
'Because she had what is called a Pseudocysis, that is, a hysterical pregnancy. False pregnancy.' She simplified further, seeing all their blank expressions. 'You sister mentioned losing her love a while back. It is understandable that after his loss, she fell into a depression and due to that depression her period stopped. When she realized that, she most probably thought she was pregnant and due to her state of mind her body believed it and started mimicking the maladies of a pregnant woman. This doesn't happen often, but it is not unheard of. Hence you thought you were pregnant and while the pregnancy test would have shown you were not, for while the body can mimick sickness and soarness it cannot discharge the hormone if you are not pregnant, but because you delayed in checking it, it gave you a false result.'
Everyone was silent, as they each took in the doctor's words. It was a lot to take in, especially for Aakash and Arnav who hadn't even known Khushi was pregnant until they entered the room and now were being told that she never had been but had only believed to be. It all sounded too farfetched and unreal, and yet it wasn't, it was real, very real. As real as the hand that was attached to the end of their arm. She had been through such an emotional whirlpool that had caused her to have a hysterical pregnancy and yet had never let anyone of them know the depression that sunk her day by day. It sickened Aakash, how she had lived in his house for nearly a month and he had never even noticed the pain she was in. well that was Khushi, wasn't it, as Payal said, she listened to everyone's problems, came up with their solutions and whisked away their worries, but when it came to her one would never know just how sad she was on the inside for that smile of her, which never left her face, would deceive them.
'No thank you, nurse, we won't be needing that.' She told the nurse who had just wheeled in the Ultra-sound machine into the room. 'Or wait, would you like to check in the scan to satisfy any doubts?' She turned to ask Khsuhi.
Khushi stared at the machine and then looked down at her flat stomach, where one of her hands still lay, it was empty. All empty. 'No. I think I have humiliated myself enough with my insanity regarding my baby. I don't need evidence of it. I have been scarred enough for a lifetime, I don't need to see it's proof to remind myself of what that man has lead me to become. A crazy person.' She said to no one in particular, in a bitter, hollow voice, which made even the doctor's fine hairs stand on end.
'Khushi, what are you saying you are not crazy!' Payal raised her voice in alarm, at Khushi's proclamation. 'You're not crazy sweetheart. Look at me. Do you not trust your Jiji?!!' she grabbed at her face, making her turn towards her.
'I am Jiji. I am. Who else would think they were pregnant when they were not? Only a crazy person. I'm crazy Jiji. I'm insane. That man has led me to insanity. He has broken me completely!!'
A hard lump rose in Arnav's throat. That man? Who did Khushi mean by that man? Was she referring to him? Well who else would she be referring to? No one else in her life had manipulated and tortured her the way he had. Had that night in Sheesh-Mahal led to her further depression after she lost her love. She had been in a state when he found her, may be that was why and his actions had added fuel to her depression sending her down a wayward spiral, causing her to imagine things. May be that's why she had frozen in front of the car that night in the rain...what had he done?!! Di always told him to think about the other person before he did something to them, why did he not listen to her?!!
'Khushi, you are not crazy!! Aakash say something! Doctor, tell her. She will drive herself crazy with thinking that she is!' Payal screamed at the room as Khushi rocked back and forth in Payal's arm continuing to believe she had gone insane.
'Ms. Gupta...Ms Gupta, Listen to me. Listen to me!!! Do you trust me?' Doctor Nisha was now inches away from Khushi's face, making her look right at her so that she listened to every word she said. 'Do you trust me?' Khushi gave a nod. 'Okay. Then believe me when I say you are not crazy. A bad thing happened to you. Tell me about that bad thing Ms. Gupta. Tell me about what happened to your love, what happened to your husband?' Doctor Nisha prodded, getting her to recall and retell her story was the only way to make Khushi understand that she was not crazy.
'He wasn't my husband. I don't have a husband.' Khushi said, as a tear escaped her eye, at the thought of the happily-ever-after she would never have, especially not now. Not when she was crazy.
The doctor stared at her, if she didn't have a husband then, why had she thought she was pregnant? Unless...oh...she had said nothing about a husband only about a lover...the young generation, always impulsive, never even stopping to think about the consequence of their actions...well now was not the time to judge, but rather help her patient...'Ok, then tell me about you lover, what happened to him, how did he die?'
'He didn't, he left me for that other woman! Crushed my heart, my hopes, my dreams, for her!! First made such beautiful promises and then left me!! Left me alone, bare, empty...' Khushi continued on talking, answering the doctors questions as she helped her grasp her reality again, but Arnav stopped listening. His whole world spun right around him and for a moment he found himself standing on the terrace door in their house in Lucknow, from where he saw his mother and father argue about his father's mistress. Khushi, too, was a mistress. She had said that he was not her husband, which meant that she had slept with a man out of wedlock. She had conducted an affair with a man who was married, who then left her for his own wife...he left me...for her! Khushi was a homewrecker!! She was the kind of women he despised the most in this world and yet moments ago he had felt sorry for her. He felt sick with himself for grieving with her. She deserved this pain, this ache, all mistresses did. Who didn't even stop to think how their illicit actions affected whole families. She was a wh**e!! And he had cared for her!! Disgusting! Ugh. He had carried her in his arms. Egh. He felt filthy all of a sudden for having been in contact with her. He rushed out of the hospital room, rubbing his arms as he went.
'Ouch...uff Chotay, watch where you are go- Chotay what are you doing?' Anjali's concerned voice broke his frenzy. But he couldn't quite answer her question. 'Chotay are you okay? Oh my God, is Khushi okay, did something happen to her?' Anjali looked up the corridor Arnav had just come down from and then back at him waitng for his response.
'She is one of them Di. One of them.' That was the only response he gave before he left the hospital, leaving Anjali stranded at the entrance of the Emergency door, not knowing who to go after, her brother, who was clearly shaken up by something or to Khushi who must be in a serious condition to instigate such a reaction out of her brother. In the end she chose the latter as she realized that once she saw Khushi and was able to decipher exactly what had happened to her only then would she be able to help Arnav with his guilt regarding it.
'Khushi is pregnant?!! And you didn't tell me?!! Payal I am asking you something!!' Aakash thundered as Payal tried to ignore his questions and move towards Khushi and the doctor, who was now examining Khushi's bloodwork and ordering the nurse to set up the Ultra-Sound.
'Yes Aakash she is pregnant, she has been for the past two months and yes you have every right to be angry with me for not telling you, but right now can we concentrate on the more important matter, of whether her baby is safe or not, afterwards you can interrogate me as much as you like on the subject. Ok?' Seeing her point, although not completely convinced whether Shyam's baby was a priority, he backed off as at the end of the day he could get the story later, right now it was important to know if it was still alive or not and if not, then the removal procedure as well as Khushi's emotional trauma would have to be dealt with.
'Mrs Rai, are you sure your sister is pregnant?' Dr. Nisha asked, preplexed by the reports in her hand.
'Yes.' Both Khushi and Payal replied, as Khushi stretched out her right hand to Payal for support in case of bad news.
'Hmm...not according to her bloodwork. Her eostrogen levels are normal.' Dr. Nisha said aloud as she went through the chart again.
'What does that mean? She is two months pregnant.' Payal asked not understanding.
'Hunnh!' Khushi took a sharp intake of breath as the doctors words seeped through, 'Does that...that means I...L-l-lost my baby?!!!' She began to whimper as she clutched her flat, empty abdomen. 'Jiji...' she wailed, 'my b-b-baby...I L-lost it...I lost the man I loved, my baby...I lost everything Jiji' Payal took her into a hug as she too began to shake, with the grief that hit her with Khushi's cries.
Oh God, Khushi's husband was dead?!!! Could this day get any worse? He had first screamed at her for not understanding what it felt to loose someone you loved, when she clearly knew what it felt like and then had driven her to a house about to be demolated. That had led to her loosing her baby and the only thing probably keeping her going after she lost her love, just the way LaANK had kept him going after Lavanya's death. What a terrible mess he had made of things. How was he ever going to meet her eyes? Her sight made his heart wrench, he was responsible for the agony she was in right now. How could he have done that to her...he was aching to hold her in his arms the way her sister was and apologise for the grief he had caused...but he couldn't. She would hate him, as she should.
'My b-ba-by Ji-ji...my baby...' Khushi trembled, 'I lost m-my b-bab-y.'
'No. No. You didn't loose it Ms Gupta...' the doctor cut in, after finaly putting down the charts and coming to a conclusion. Both the girls looked up at her with hope in their eyes, 'You...' how was she supposed to say this without setting them on a crying spree again, 'you never had it.' She said in a soothing voice. The whole room stared at her not following.
'I...I don't understand.' Said Khushi finally, voicing Payal, Aakash and Arnav's confusion. Who now all looked at the doctor and waited for her to explain what she meant.
'Ms. Gupta I don't believe you were ever pregnant. You didn't lose the baby, you cannot lose what you didn't have.' She explained.
'Wha- No. I was pregnant. I had a baby. I felt it. Well not it exactly but...I... all the symptoms, my morning sickness, my swollen feet, my soar body and teats. And even weight gain, it all happened, yes the last month I lost the bit of weight I had gained, but the rest it all happened...' Khushi argued, not believing the doctor. It could not be possible she knew she was pregnant. She was! She was!
'Many things could have caused all those things, it doesn't necessarily mean that you were pregnant. Did you just think cause of all that you were pregnant?' she asked, not hiding the skepticism in her voice fully. Afterall, their shout about the pregnancy had made her panic herself, loosing a patient was devastating as it was but losing a an unborn child was an experience one could not even describe in words and then having to tell the mother that she had lost it, was even worse.
'No, but her periods stopped too. Tell her Khushi.' Payal now joined the dispute with her sister, not believing the doctor. Khushi managed a nod, between a sob.
'Well that can be due to a lot of things too, not just pregnancy. You just lost someone close to you right. It's understandable for your period to act up when a major trauma occurs in your life, it can stop or can come heavier and longer than usual.'
Both the girls were silent. Could it be? Was that why her periods had stopped? Had she never been pregnant but only believed it? But then what about the test?
'Yes!' Khushi shouted aloud, causing the others to jump around her, she turned to the doctor triumphantly, how would she explain this, Khushi had not hallucinated, the test had shown her to be pregnant, 'What about the test?'
'What test?' the doctor asked, not quite following.
'I did a pregnancy test, it came positive. I didn't just go on symptoms, I actually checked.' Khushi explained, realising that neither the doctor nor any of the other's in the room had known what she was thinking. This declaration about the test did stump the doctor, if she wasn't pregnant then how come the test showed it, unless...
'Wait, which test did you do? As in, did you get it done in a clinic or at home?' She inquired.
'At home.' Khushi replied, now a little worried, did that mean it could be wrong? That possibility had never occurred to her, before. To redo the test.
'And did you follow the intstructions exactly?'
Khushi nodded.
'Are you sure? You didn't delay in checking the result?' she further interrogated.
'No, I che- she began answering but stopped, as she remembered, that she had not checked it straight away for Bua ji had banged on the door just after she was done asking for detergent, thus delaying her retrieving the result. 'I did delay a little in checking the result.' She replied in a quiet voice.
'Well then that would explain why you got a false positive. Home-pregnancy tests are not always correct, although they generally known give a false negative rather then a false positive, but the latter has been known to happen in some cases and the main cause of that is delay in checking the results. Which is what happened with a you, Khushi: you were never pregnant, I'm sorry I know it will not be easy to learn this. But it is, what it is.'
Khushi was silent. She didn't know how to react anymore, she couldn't mourn for something she didn't have, yet it still felt like she had lost it. How did one behave in a situation like this? Were they supposed to be happy for not having lost a baby or sad for never having been pregnant?
'I...I don't understand. If it was a false positive then why was she getting sick and soar? I get that the test gave the wrong result, but I don't understand why she still got bloated at times and felt sick?'
'Because she had what is called a Pseudocysis, that is, a hysterical pregnancy. False pregnancy.' She simplified further, seeing all their blank expressions. 'You sister mentioned losing her love a while back. It is understandable that after his loss, she fell into a depression and due to that depression her period stopped. When she realized that, she most probably thought she was pregnant and due to her state of mind her body believed it and started mimicking the maladies of a pregnant woman. This doesn't happen often, but it is not unheard of. Hence you thought you were pregnant and while the pregnancy test would have shown you were not, for while the body can mimick sickness and soarness it cannot discharge the hormone if you are not pregnant, but because you delayed in checking it, it gave you a false result.'
Everyone was silent, as they each took in the doctor's words. It was a lot to take in, especially for Aakash and Arnav who hadn't even known Khushi was pregnant until they entered the room and now were being told that she never had been but had only believed to be. It all sounded too farfetched and unreal, and yet it wasn't, it was real, very real. As real as the hand that was attached to the end of their arm. She had been through such an emotional whirlpool that had caused her to have a hysterical pregnancy and yet had never let anyone of them know the depression that sunk her day by day. It sickened Aakash, how she had lived in his house for nearly a month and he had never even noticed the pain she was in. well that was Khushi, wasn't it, as Payal said, she listened to everyone's problems, came up with their solutions and whisked away their worries, but when it came to her one would never know just how sad she was on the inside for that smile of her, which never left her face, would deceive them.
'No thank you, nurse, we won't be needing that.' She told the nurse who had just wheeled in the Ultra-sound machine into the room. 'Or wait, would you like to check in the scan to satisfy any doubts?' She turned to ask Khsuhi.
Khushi stared at the machine and then looked down at her flat stomach, where one of her hands still lay, it was empty. All empty. 'No. I think I have humiliated myself enough with my insanity regarding my baby. I don't need evidence of it. I have been scarred enough for a lifetime, I don't need to see it's proof to remind myself of what that man has lead me to become. A crazy person.' She said to no one in particular, in a bitter, hollow voice, which made even the doctor's fine hairs stand on end.
'Khushi, what are you saying you are not crazy!' Payal raised her voice in alarm, at Khushi's proclamation. 'You're not crazy sweetheart. Look at me. Do you not trust your Jiji?!!' she grabbed at her face, making her turn towards her.
'I am Jiji. I am. Who else would think they were pregnant when they were not? Only a crazy person. I'm crazy Jiji. I'm insane. That man has led me to insanity. He has broken me completely!!'
A hard lump rose in Arnav's throat. That man? Who did Khushi mean by that man? Was she referring to him? Well who else would she be referring to? No one else in her life had manipulated and tortured her the way he had. Had that night in Sheesh-Mahal led to her further depression after she lost her love. She had been in a state when he found her, may be that was why and his actions had added fuel to her depression sending her down a wayward spiral, causing her to imagine things. May be that's why she had frozen in front of the car that night in the rain...what had he done?!! Di always told him to think about the other person before he did something to them, why did he not listen to her?!!
'Khushi, you are not crazy!! Aakash say something! Doctor, tell her. She will drive herself crazy with thinking that she is!' Payal screamed at the room as Khushi rocked back and forth in Payal's arm continuing to believe she had gone insane.
'Ms. Gupta...Ms Gupta, Listen to me. Listen to me!!! Do you trust me?' Doctor Nisha was now inches away from Khushi's face, making her look right at her so that she listened to every word she said. 'Do you trust me?' Khushi gave a nod. 'Okay. Then believe me when I say you are not crazy. A bad thing happened to you. Tell me about that bad thing Ms. Gupta. Tell me about what happened to your love, what happened to your husband?' Doctor Nisha prodded, getting her to recall and retell her story was the only way to make Khushi understand that she was not crazy.
'He wasn't my husband. I don't have a husband.' Khushi said, as a tear escaped her eye, at the thought of the happily-ever-after she would never have, especially not now. Not when she was crazy.
The doctor stared at her, if she didn't have a husband then, why had she thought she was pregnant? Unless...oh...she had said nothing about a husband only about a lover...the young generation, always impulsive, never even stopping to think about the consequence of their actions...well now was not the time to judge, but rather help her patient...'Ok, then tell me about you lover, what happened to him, how did he die?'
'He didn't, he left me for that other woman! Crushed my heart, my hopes, my dreams, for her!! First made such beautiful promises and then left me!! Left me alone, bare, empty...' Khushi continued on talking, answering the doctors questions as she helped her grasp her reality again, but Arnav stopped listening. His whole world spun right around him and for a moment he found himself standing on the terrace door in their house in Lucknow, from where he saw his mother and father argue about his father's mistress. Khushi, too, was a mistress. She had said that he was not her husband, which meant that she had slept with a man out of wedlock. She had conducted an affair with a man who was married, who then left her for his own wife...he left me...for her! Khushi was a homewrecker!! She was the kind of women he despised the most in this world and yet moments ago he had felt sorry for her. He felt sick with himself for grieving with her. She deserved this pain, this ache, all mistresses did. Who didn't even stop to think how their illicit actions affected whole families. She was a wh**e!! And he had cared for her!! Disgusting! Ugh. He had carried her in his arms. Egh. He felt filthy all of a sudden for having been in contact with her. He rushed out of the hospital room, rubbing his arms as he went.
'Ouch...uff Chotay, watch where you are go- Chotay what are you doing?' Anjali's concerned voice broke his frenzy. But he couldn't quite answer her question. 'Chotay are you okay? Oh my God, is Khushi okay, did something happen to her?' Anjali looked up the corridor Arnav had just come down from and then back at him waitng for his response.
'She is one of them Di. One of them.' That was the only response he gave before he left the hospital, leaving Anjali stranded at the entrance of the Emergency door, not knowing who to go after, her brother, who was clearly shaken up by something or to Khushi who must be in a serious condition to instigate such a reaction out of her brother. In the end she chose the latter as she realized that once she saw Khushi and was able to decipher exactly what had happened to her only then would she be able to help Arnav with his guilt regarding it.
*****
Note:
Just want to say that hysterical-pregnancies do happen (it isn't something I invented), it happens to distraught patients where they have suffered such a degree of mental trauma that they belief themselves to be pregnant to the extent that their bodies start emitting the same symptoms...much in the same way a mentally disturbed person starts believing the hallucinations they are having to be real...this doesn't mean that they, or Khushi, is insane because they are NOT, they have suffered a serious trauma that has forced their brains to form an alternate reality to cushion themselves against the onslaught of emotion, to help them cope...it is a form of denial...the pregnancy helps Khushi cope with Shyam's betrayal by making her focus on her imaginary baby and so she keeps herself together for it, forcing herself to move past his betrayal and keep herself healthy for her baby...it's a defense mechanism and so not insanity, however, if not treated correctly can lead to insanity for if the person never comes out of this alternate reality they have created for themselves then they will drive themselves insane...
so yeah, morbid, but needed to clarify, that she isn't insane but in a dire form of denial...
Just want to say that hysterical-pregnancies do happen (it isn't something I invented), it happens to distraught patients where they have suffered such a degree of mental trauma that they belief themselves to be pregnant to the extent that their bodies start emitting the same symptoms...much in the same way a mentally disturbed person starts believing the hallucinations they are having to be real...this doesn't mean that they, or Khushi, is insane because they are NOT, they have suffered a serious trauma that has forced their brains to form an alternate reality to cushion themselves against the onslaught of emotion, to help them cope...it is a form of denial...the pregnancy helps Khushi cope with Shyam's betrayal by making her focus on her imaginary baby and so she keeps herself together for it, forcing herself to move past his betrayal and keep herself healthy for her baby...it's a defense mechanism and so not insanity, however, if not treated correctly can lead to insanity for if the person never comes out of this alternate reality they have created for themselves then they will drive themselves insane...
so yeah, morbid, but needed to clarify, that she isn't insane but in a dire form of denial...