'Ssshhh...Sssh...Khushi. If you cry so much then your going to end up getting sick yourself. Sshh. Its ok, I understand but crying will not solve anything now will it? Weren't you the one who was telling me that a few days ago when I was crying over not knowing Chotay's whereabouts? You were the one who told me to calm down and call him right...so, now take heed of your own advice, calm down and we'll figure something out. Ok?' Anjali made a tearful Khushi face her and waited until she showed comprehension of her advice by nodding slowly and wiping away her tears.
'Good. Now, firstly, Khushi you cannot blame yourself for your Bauji's attack, as much as you may want to...No. Hear me out.' She ordered, as Khushi begun shaking her head. 'Yes your past actions may have led to it but its' not your fault. This is something that I have been trying to tell you ever since you came back from the hospital. What happened between you and your fianc was tragic indeed but not your fault. You trusted him and that's all there is to it. Tell me if he had not turned out to be a cheat and you both were happily married right now, would you have ever dwelled upon that night, no, right? Why not because then it would have been that magical night you had believed it to be up until the point you walked in on him. If you both were together at the moment the only context you would be remembering that night in would be how much closer it brought you two, not just in the physical sense but in the emotional sense too. Because sex for man is only a physical act, but for a woman, it is something sacred, something they only do with the one they have the highest trust; faith in. And that's what you did that night, you proved to him that you had full faith in him, only he turned around and squashed it on the ground right before you. It was he who was wrong, not you. You cannot blame yourself for the wrong he committed. Had you been aware of his character prior to sleeping with him, then yes you would be to blame, for knowing about him and yet still pursuing him, but you did not so then how can one blame you?
'You did what you thought was right, you were with someone whom you truly believed you would be spending the rest of your life with. Someone you had a whole future planned with. Only they left you midway, that is their wrong not yours' Khushi. Should you have practiced caution, yes, but you didn't, it happens, to the best of us, you can't hold yourself for that, we all try to do the right thing but sometimes the situation demands us to do right by another and therefore we end up getting wronged. That's what you did, did you not? You wanted to prove to him that he had your full trust and you did, only he never deserved your trust for he never had your best interest at heart. He only cared for one thing which he manipulated out of you. Who's to say he wouldn't have done the same after marriage? Even if you had practiced caution, who's to say he wouldn't have left you after marriage, just the way my husband did me; once he had had enough of me. Who's to say your fianc would not have done the same, considering it is quite plain now that sex was the only thing he was after. Who's to say he wouldn't have left you after a day, a week or a month of marriage. And then what would have happened to you Khushi? You would be in a much worse position then you are now. Don't believe me, then I'll explain.
'See at the moment only a few people know what occurred between you both, the whole world does not, but if he had left you after marriage then the whole world would know that you had been touched by another man and then they would certainly shun you. And would blame you for not managing to keep your husband, they would say all sorts of things about you, just the way they used to say about me, only Chotay quietened them by revealing Chetan ji's true character to everyone. But that's not it, the gossip one anticipates and learns to tune out as that's what people do, they have nothing better in their lives to do but talk about others' issues and problems. The other reason that puts you in a better position is that you're spared from the pain of becoming a divorcee. Also, yes, while you've gotten your heart broken and trust taken, you have learnt from it too. To not give your heart away that easily to someone. You've learnt to be guarded in the matters of the heart. Which will help you to spare your heart from any other scoundrel and give it to the one person who will truly cherish it.'
'I don't want to give my heart to anyone Di. It suffered too much already.' Khushi said sadly.
'Aah you feel like this right now, but when that right person comes and cradles your heart, you will let him take it, for he will heal it completely.' Anjali smiled.
'Di that right person may come and may take my heart, but will drop it the moment he finds out about me and Shyam, thereby wounding my heart further. So, no thanks, I think I'm fine just by myself. Besides I'm not interested in love, I have learnt that such a thing does not exist, all I care about is getting my family back.'
'Hmmm...'Anjali resigned herself from the topic of love at the moment, seeing clearly that Khushi had no interest in listening to it. It hurt her, listening about it, as she was so determined to believe that she would get none in her life. Thus Anjali let it go for the time being, not wanting to rile her up further. 'Well about your family, I'm afraid I have the same advice to give to you that I gave to you regarding your Jeeja ji's anger. Give it some time. Put yourself in their position, they just found out about what happened. Think about it, how much Shyam's betrayal hurt you, they have received a betrayal in sorts from you too. Not just because you slept with a man, but because you hid it from them. They would not have expected that from you. So give it time, they will come around. Until then just do whatever you can for them, so that slowly they learn that you're not a changed person but the very same Khushi that they always knew and love. They're your family, they can't be angry with you for too long and when they learn about the whole thing they will too begin to see Shyam more at fault than you. Right now they just learnt of the truth, so naturally it will take some time for it to sink in; but when they come to realize that their daughter lost a lot more than just her virginity that night, they will embrace you wholly again. Trust me.'
'You really think so?' Khushi asked, hope in her eyes at the thought of the day when her family would forgive her.
'I know so.' Anjali smiled. 'Ok now. Enough crying, go wash your face and then let's have dinner.'
'Oh, I'm not that hungry.' Khushi said.
'Uh-uh I'm not hearing that, if you won't eat then how will you manage to come up with ideas to win your familys' hearts back. Come on...'
'Yes, but, I-
'Ok fine, you don't have to come to the dinning table, I'll bring you something to eat here. You can join us on the table from tomorrow, ok?'
'Ok.' Khushi gave a weak smile and then went off to wash her face which was laced with countless tear tracks, as Anjali proceeded to the main house to get some dinner for Khushi.
----
When Arnav arrived home he decided to go around the back to his room, not wanting to bump into Anjali with his bandaged hand. His hand was still bleeding, for blood was now drenching the folds of the white gauze. He needed to get to his room and change it before Anjali caught sight of it. She would make a big deal of the bandage as it was, but if she saw the blood on it than that would mean him getting admitted in the hospital for the next month. She had done it before, creating such fervour in the hospital that the doctors had given into her demands and kept him there for two weeks due to a sprained ankle when he clearly didn't even need to be admitted. Shaking his head at his sister's protective instincts he rounded the corner of the house and came to the pool area, where he froze. The light in the pool house was on. That could only mean one thing.
'Khushi.' He whispered aloud as he bounded around the pool and into the house.
'Khu-Ouch!' Before he had entered the house he walked into someone.
'Argh. Chotay...'
'Di?' He looked down as he rubbed his chin which had been grazed by his sister's head. If Anjali was here, did that mean Khushi wasn't? Had Anjali just come to do something at the house, he wouldn't put it past her. Other then obsessing over him, her other mania was cleaning. She had probably come to clean the house considering it hadn't been done in the past few days as Khushi wasn't here. His heart sunk a little. He had really hoped that Khushi was back.
'Chotay what are you doing here?' Anjali inquired.
'Me...oh...um...I just... I saw the light on so came to see. I mean I know Khushi's not here so was wondering who was in the house, that's all.' He said as he began backing out and making way for Anjali to come out too.
'Oh...well, Khushi is here. She came back about an hour or so ago.' Anjali informed him.
'What?!! Really? She's back?!' Excitement flooded inside him.
'Yes. But why are you so excited?' Anjali scrutinized him.
'Wha- Me. No, I'm not excited. Why would I be excited?'
'Really? Then why the raise in tone, Chotay?'
'What? Di you're reading way too much into it. I'm just surprised, I didn't think she would be back so soon that's all. But if she is then good. I mean I have to discuss some of her designs, I didn't like a few, so...'
'Uffo Chotay. Do you ever think of anything but work?!! Of course not, silly of me even asking. Fine whatever...but Chotay..'
'Yes Di?'
'No discussing work with Khushi tonight ok? Whatever it is can wait till tomorrow when you both are at LaANK. Khushi's had a long tiresome day, you don't need to go add to it. Understand?'
'Yeah, yeah.'
'I mean it Chotay.' She stared at him poignantly.
'Ok Diii, I got it. No work discussion. I can meet her though can't I, or you won't allow that either.'
'Haha..of course you can go see her, but..'
'Yes?'
'Since when do you go on your own accord to see Khushi?' Anjali pulled his leg.
'Ok, fine then I won't. I mean first you and Nani lecture me on how I should be more civil towards her considering she's my neighbour and now that I am acting upon your words you make fun of me. Then fine, I won't go. It's not like I've been sulking over her these past few days. Its' been nice and quiet while she was gone, I will miss the tranquility.' Arnav pretended, while all he wanted was to rush inside and see for himself that she was back.
'Fine, fine. I won't tease you, go meet her. Its' good, you should do it more often. Meet her and other people it will do you good.'
'Yes, yes Di. Should I go now, or is there more in your sermon about socializing?' it was his turn to take a jibe at his sister.
'Haha, very funny. Go.' With that she entered the main house from the side door leaving Arnav to go see Khushi.
'Good. Now, firstly, Khushi you cannot blame yourself for your Bauji's attack, as much as you may want to...No. Hear me out.' She ordered, as Khushi begun shaking her head. 'Yes your past actions may have led to it but its' not your fault. This is something that I have been trying to tell you ever since you came back from the hospital. What happened between you and your fianc was tragic indeed but not your fault. You trusted him and that's all there is to it. Tell me if he had not turned out to be a cheat and you both were happily married right now, would you have ever dwelled upon that night, no, right? Why not because then it would have been that magical night you had believed it to be up until the point you walked in on him. If you both were together at the moment the only context you would be remembering that night in would be how much closer it brought you two, not just in the physical sense but in the emotional sense too. Because sex for man is only a physical act, but for a woman, it is something sacred, something they only do with the one they have the highest trust; faith in. And that's what you did that night, you proved to him that you had full faith in him, only he turned around and squashed it on the ground right before you. It was he who was wrong, not you. You cannot blame yourself for the wrong he committed. Had you been aware of his character prior to sleeping with him, then yes you would be to blame, for knowing about him and yet still pursuing him, but you did not so then how can one blame you?
'You did what you thought was right, you were with someone whom you truly believed you would be spending the rest of your life with. Someone you had a whole future planned with. Only they left you midway, that is their wrong not yours' Khushi. Should you have practiced caution, yes, but you didn't, it happens, to the best of us, you can't hold yourself for that, we all try to do the right thing but sometimes the situation demands us to do right by another and therefore we end up getting wronged. That's what you did, did you not? You wanted to prove to him that he had your full trust and you did, only he never deserved your trust for he never had your best interest at heart. He only cared for one thing which he manipulated out of you. Who's to say he wouldn't have done the same after marriage? Even if you had practiced caution, who's to say he wouldn't have left you after marriage, just the way my husband did me; once he had had enough of me. Who's to say your fianc would not have done the same, considering it is quite plain now that sex was the only thing he was after. Who's to say he wouldn't have left you after a day, a week or a month of marriage. And then what would have happened to you Khushi? You would be in a much worse position then you are now. Don't believe me, then I'll explain.
'See at the moment only a few people know what occurred between you both, the whole world does not, but if he had left you after marriage then the whole world would know that you had been touched by another man and then they would certainly shun you. And would blame you for not managing to keep your husband, they would say all sorts of things about you, just the way they used to say about me, only Chotay quietened them by revealing Chetan ji's true character to everyone. But that's not it, the gossip one anticipates and learns to tune out as that's what people do, they have nothing better in their lives to do but talk about others' issues and problems. The other reason that puts you in a better position is that you're spared from the pain of becoming a divorcee. Also, yes, while you've gotten your heart broken and trust taken, you have learnt from it too. To not give your heart away that easily to someone. You've learnt to be guarded in the matters of the heart. Which will help you to spare your heart from any other scoundrel and give it to the one person who will truly cherish it.'
'I don't want to give my heart to anyone Di. It suffered too much already.' Khushi said sadly.
'Aah you feel like this right now, but when that right person comes and cradles your heart, you will let him take it, for he will heal it completely.' Anjali smiled.
'Di that right person may come and may take my heart, but will drop it the moment he finds out about me and Shyam, thereby wounding my heart further. So, no thanks, I think I'm fine just by myself. Besides I'm not interested in love, I have learnt that such a thing does not exist, all I care about is getting my family back.'
'Hmmm...'Anjali resigned herself from the topic of love at the moment, seeing clearly that Khushi had no interest in listening to it. It hurt her, listening about it, as she was so determined to believe that she would get none in her life. Thus Anjali let it go for the time being, not wanting to rile her up further. 'Well about your family, I'm afraid I have the same advice to give to you that I gave to you regarding your Jeeja ji's anger. Give it some time. Put yourself in their position, they just found out about what happened. Think about it, how much Shyam's betrayal hurt you, they have received a betrayal in sorts from you too. Not just because you slept with a man, but because you hid it from them. They would not have expected that from you. So give it time, they will come around. Until then just do whatever you can for them, so that slowly they learn that you're not a changed person but the very same Khushi that they always knew and love. They're your family, they can't be angry with you for too long and when they learn about the whole thing they will too begin to see Shyam more at fault than you. Right now they just learnt of the truth, so naturally it will take some time for it to sink in; but when they come to realize that their daughter lost a lot more than just her virginity that night, they will embrace you wholly again. Trust me.'
'You really think so?' Khushi asked, hope in her eyes at the thought of the day when her family would forgive her.
'I know so.' Anjali smiled. 'Ok now. Enough crying, go wash your face and then let's have dinner.'
'Oh, I'm not that hungry.' Khushi said.
'Uh-uh I'm not hearing that, if you won't eat then how will you manage to come up with ideas to win your familys' hearts back. Come on...'
'Yes, but, I-
'Ok fine, you don't have to come to the dinning table, I'll bring you something to eat here. You can join us on the table from tomorrow, ok?'
'Ok.' Khushi gave a weak smile and then went off to wash her face which was laced with countless tear tracks, as Anjali proceeded to the main house to get some dinner for Khushi.
----
When Arnav arrived home he decided to go around the back to his room, not wanting to bump into Anjali with his bandaged hand. His hand was still bleeding, for blood was now drenching the folds of the white gauze. He needed to get to his room and change it before Anjali caught sight of it. She would make a big deal of the bandage as it was, but if she saw the blood on it than that would mean him getting admitted in the hospital for the next month. She had done it before, creating such fervour in the hospital that the doctors had given into her demands and kept him there for two weeks due to a sprained ankle when he clearly didn't even need to be admitted. Shaking his head at his sister's protective instincts he rounded the corner of the house and came to the pool area, where he froze. The light in the pool house was on. That could only mean one thing.
'Khushi.' He whispered aloud as he bounded around the pool and into the house.
'Khu-Ouch!' Before he had entered the house he walked into someone.
'Argh. Chotay...'
'Di?' He looked down as he rubbed his chin which had been grazed by his sister's head. If Anjali was here, did that mean Khushi wasn't? Had Anjali just come to do something at the house, he wouldn't put it past her. Other then obsessing over him, her other mania was cleaning. She had probably come to clean the house considering it hadn't been done in the past few days as Khushi wasn't here. His heart sunk a little. He had really hoped that Khushi was back.
'Chotay what are you doing here?' Anjali inquired.
'Me...oh...um...I just... I saw the light on so came to see. I mean I know Khushi's not here so was wondering who was in the house, that's all.' He said as he began backing out and making way for Anjali to come out too.
'Oh...well, Khushi is here. She came back about an hour or so ago.' Anjali informed him.
'What?!! Really? She's back?!' Excitement flooded inside him.
'Yes. But why are you so excited?' Anjali scrutinized him.
'Wha- Me. No, I'm not excited. Why would I be excited?'
'Really? Then why the raise in tone, Chotay?'
'What? Di you're reading way too much into it. I'm just surprised, I didn't think she would be back so soon that's all. But if she is then good. I mean I have to discuss some of her designs, I didn't like a few, so...'
'Uffo Chotay. Do you ever think of anything but work?!! Of course not, silly of me even asking. Fine whatever...but Chotay..'
'Yes Di?'
'No discussing work with Khushi tonight ok? Whatever it is can wait till tomorrow when you both are at LaANK. Khushi's had a long tiresome day, you don't need to go add to it. Understand?'
'Yeah, yeah.'
'I mean it Chotay.' She stared at him poignantly.
'Ok Diii, I got it. No work discussion. I can meet her though can't I, or you won't allow that either.'
'Haha..of course you can go see her, but..'
'Yes?'
'Since when do you go on your own accord to see Khushi?' Anjali pulled his leg.
'Ok, fine then I won't. I mean first you and Nani lecture me on how I should be more civil towards her considering she's my neighbour and now that I am acting upon your words you make fun of me. Then fine, I won't go. It's not like I've been sulking over her these past few days. Its' been nice and quiet while she was gone, I will miss the tranquility.' Arnav pretended, while all he wanted was to rush inside and see for himself that she was back.
'Fine, fine. I won't tease you, go meet her. Its' good, you should do it more often. Meet her and other people it will do you good.'
'Yes, yes Di. Should I go now, or is there more in your sermon about socializing?' it was his turn to take a jibe at his sister.
'Haha, very funny. Go.' With that she entered the main house from the side door leaving Arnav to go see Khushi.
*****