'Di...on second thoughts I'll joi- Khushi stopped short in the lounge area of her house when she found Arnav standing there instead of Anjali. Her warm face turned cold and her stance went on the defensive.
'You...you were gone.' Arnav said after a minute of no conversation. He had gone into see her but had not realized that he would actually have to talk to her. Khushi only raised an eyebrow, signifying that she knew she had left he did not need to tell her so. Making him feel like a bigger idiot than he already did for not thinking this through, not wanting to make a bigger fool of himself he abruptly turned to leave when something occurred to him; he turned back round and stomped over to her, coming to stand inches away from her face where her floral scent wafted towards him. 'Just who do you think I am Khushi! You think you can just do whatever you like and I won't say anything?!!'
His tone shook her a little and broke her composure making her lower her folded arms. 'What did you think? That I would run around all of Nainital looking for you?! There is such a thing as ethics that one should follow when they are with someone. I know there is no point in lecturing a person like you on social conduct but really Khushi, I really didn't think you would stoop that low. To run away, leave without informing me that's even beneath you! I knew you were no good but I didn't take you to be a coward!! But I guess I should have, considering your activities suggest all the other characteristics a coward has-
'ENOUGH!!' his label broke her resolve to not engage in any sort of conversation with him that was not official. 'Enough. I have no interest in listening to your opinions about me, I heard enough back in Nainital. I don't have the patience to listen to anymore of it. You don't like me, I get it, I won't make the mistake of crossing your path again unless absolutely necessary ok? Now if you'll please leave me in peace, this may be your property but as I am leasing it at the moment it is my house and you are not welcome in it!' with that she turned and stomped back towards her bedroom, before her tears gave way in front of him. It still hurt her that he thought so lowly of her. His words brought back the image of her aunt and mother, further gutting her for she realized they must think as badly of her as he did. Would she ever be able to earn their forgiveness, show them that she wasn't all bad? That she had done a terrible thing but truly resented herself for it and wanted nothing but to do good for them. Would she ever manage to get across to them that she loved them and would never hurt them in the same manner ever again?
'Khush-
'I said GO!' Khushi turned and hollered at Arnav, only it wasn't Arnav who had called her but Anjali. Who now was taken aback by her sudden anger. 'Oh God, Di. I thought- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...' Anjali looked from Khushi's apologetic face to Arnav's peeved one and understood that her brother must have said something to her. She sighed, she had told him not to bother her... Shaking her head at her brother, she limped towards Khushi with a tray of food in her hand.
'Its' ok. Here I brought you some food.' She started handing the tray over to her when Arnav intercepted it.
'Wait Di. If she's hungry, she can join the rest of us on the dining table for dinner. This is a house not a hotel, where we will provide her with room service!' He barked, angry at the outburst from Khushi. Not realizing that he himself had instigated it, for she had been annoyed but composed when he had walked in. Which he had not liked; he didn't like it when she was silent.
'Chotay!' Anjali reproved, but before she could have gone on to say anything else Khushi cut in.
'Its' ok Di. I'm not hungry as it is.'
'Khushi, please don't listen to him. You need to eat otherwise how will you build your strength and help your Bauji.' She reminded her. 'I thought you said you were going to go to the heart centre here in Delhi tomorrow with your Jeejaji to try and get him shifted here for his treatment as both you and Payal are here. So then you need to eat.' With that she turned towards Arnav and made to grab the tray, but he moved it out of the way and instead voiced his confusion.
'Heart centre? Why is Khushi going to the heart centre?'
'Because, her Bauji just had a heart attack Chotay. Now I know its' hard for you, but stop being rude and give me that tray!' She said angrily as she grabbed it out of his hands, only to drop it with a clatter the next moment; for she had spied his bloody bandage when she took the tray from him. 'HUNH!!! CHOTAY!!' she shrieked, causing both Khushi and Arnav to jump, at the sound of her voice and the breaking of the tray and china on top of it.
'What Di? What?' he gripped her, not realizing his wound was the cause of her anguish, while Khushi came to her side too.
'Chotay, what's this? What happened?!!' she grabbed his hand and waved it in front of his face.
'Oh, that...' he said pulling his hand out of hers'. Crap, he had forgotten about changing the bandage, seeing the light on in the pool-house had made all other thoughts leave his mind. 'I...uh...scraped it while gardening earlier...'
'Scrape?!! Scrape Chotay!! If you had scraped it than there wouldn't have been so much blood!! Oh my God I must get you to the hospital. What if the wound gets sceptic? What if you fall ill?!! Hunh?! How are you feeling you don't have a fever do you?!!' she frantically placed her palm on his forehead and neck to be sure, 'Oh Chotay, your so careless! Hari Prakash, tell the driver to take the car out we need to take Chotay to the hospital right away!!' Anjali yelled as she started pulling Arnav towards to the door. But Arnav had no intention of going to the hospital.
'Dii!! Stop! I'm fine. It's just a cut, all I need to do is change the bandage.'
'Chotay, I'm not listening to a word, you need to go to the hospital, you may need stitches! Oh God.'
'I don't need stitches Di. I'm fine. Just get the first aid box. HP get the first aid kit!!' He yelled from the pool area as Anjali had managed to get him out of the outhouse. Hari Prakash came running with the box. 'Here Di, you can change it yourself, that way you can see that it will require no stitches ok.'
'Chotay...'
'Di, please...just change the bandages that's all. I'm not going to the hospital.'
'But Chotay...'
'Ok, fine, if I feel a fever coming then I will go myself, but otherwise no. Ok?'
'Hmm...show me your hand.' She said as she sat down on the bathing chairs next to the pool and began dressing his wound.
Khushi watched the brother and sister from her porch; Anjali scolding his carelessness and yet scrunching her face in pain at the thought of the ointment stinging him. It reminded her of her Amma, which caused a tear to escape her eye. She missed her so much. Well if she wished to get in her good graces again she needed to get to work, wiping away her tears, she went back inside and called Aakash to convey her plan of bringing Shashi to Delhi for treatment, as she and Payal couldn't stay in Lucknow anymore and Amma and Buaji couldn't manage the countless rounds at the hospital that would be required for Bauji now, as well as the fact that the facilities here were better. There was another reason for her wanting to bring them all here, which was, them being here meant that she could begin winning their hearts again, although this part she kept to herself.
An hour later when she walked out into the lounge to turn the lights out as she was going to bed she found Arnav start up next to the kitchen counter on being made. Anger boiled inside of her. Had she not made it clear she wanted nothing to do with him.
'What?!! What now?! Another lecture on my character?!! Well I'm not interested, you can think whatever you wish to think about me, I don't care!! Did I not make it clear earlier?!! What was it that you said to me in Nainital? Ah, yes, that I am a nothing! That for you I am insignificant, right?!! Well it may be news to you, but you too are insignificant for me!! You too mean absolutely nothing to me! I went with you to Nainital, for Di's sake, because I knew she would be worried sick about you, as your blood-sugar had been low that day and I left Nainital for my Bauji, he was in the hospital. You had nothing to do with it!! Absolutely nothing!! Undertstand!! Nothing!!' she bellowed. Infuriated at him for making her feel so small. For him thinking her capable of something as horrible as having an affair with a married man. For him calling her a coward. Well if he could hold all these opinions about her then she wanted nothing to do with him and considering he was not understanding her silence then she figured the best way for her was to say it, out loud once and for all.
'Khushi, I-
'No Mr Raizada! I don't want to hear it!! I've heard all your thoughts, now no more. Please, just leave!' with that she turned her back towards him, ending all conversation.
He turned to leave too, not wanting to upset her anymore. He was ashamed with himself for having aggravated her when she must have been distressed about her father. Thus he did not pester her any longer but strode out of her house and towards his room across the lawn.
When she could no longer hear the sounds of his footfalls, she turned to check if he really was gone. He was. She walked over to the door and bolted it, before he decided to come back again. She switched off the lounge lights and moved towards the kitchen to turn the lights off there too, when a tray on the counter stopped her. How could that be? The tray Anjali had brought had broken, she herself had thrown away its pieces and the food in the bin, then what was a fresh new tray doing here laden with food. Hot food, for its wafts were enfusing the room. It didn't make any sense, had she imagined the broken tray; she checked the dustbin under the sink. The broken pieces and spoiled food were in there, then...Arnav. She jerked her head towards the direction of his room. Through the window next to the door she could see his silhoutte from the behind the curtains in his room. He was sitting on his settee, sipping away at something from his mug. His bitter black coffee, most likely. A warmth infused inside of her. He had brought her dinner. He knew she had not eaten, thus he left a tray of warm food and she had bit his head off!!Ugh! Khushi Kumari Gupta!! You should have at least stopped to see what he had been doing in the kitchen but no, you just started shouting at him!!
She stared at his shadow. Why had he left her the food? He hated her, did he not? Anjali's voice echoed inside her head...that's his apology I'm afraid, don't expect a word one, Chotay doesn't know how to do that, instead of apologizing he will give you another reason to get angry at him...she had told her that when he had emptied his study for her. Was this another one of his apologies? Well if so, then she wasn't going to accept it! He would actually have to verbally acknowledge his mistake this time, for calling her a mistress. These gestures won't let him off the hook, for hurting her with his words, no matter how much they pulled at her heart or called to her stomach for that matter; her stomach was definitely rumbling now, she had not realized it but as soon as the aroma of the dinner had filled her nostrils her stomach had given a wild lurch. But no! She was going to ignore it! He couldn't just humiliate her and then leave a plate of delicious food as a peace offering. No matter how much she loved eating or how hungry she was! She was not going to eat it, or accept his apology! No way! This decided she switched the kitchen lights off and hurried back into her room before the food called to her and changed her mind.
However, this was all inconsequential as twenty minutes later her stomach got the best of her and she found herself drawing a chair next to the kitchen counter and scarfing down delicious mouthfuls of rice and curry. Once she had finished it the guilt set in, of her giving into Arnav's peace offering. And she began pacing the room, how could she let him off so easily? By the twelfth round it occurred to her that she had not actually broken her resolve, for he may have left the dinner for her but he had not made it. It was made by Anjali, so she had eaten the food not to disrespect Anjali or the food, not because it had been left by Arnav. Thus it was ok, she had not let him off. This settled, she snuggled into her bed, her mind at peace now as her stomach was full and her resolve against Arnav still intact.
'You...you were gone.' Arnav said after a minute of no conversation. He had gone into see her but had not realized that he would actually have to talk to her. Khushi only raised an eyebrow, signifying that she knew she had left he did not need to tell her so. Making him feel like a bigger idiot than he already did for not thinking this through, not wanting to make a bigger fool of himself he abruptly turned to leave when something occurred to him; he turned back round and stomped over to her, coming to stand inches away from her face where her floral scent wafted towards him. 'Just who do you think I am Khushi! You think you can just do whatever you like and I won't say anything?!!'
His tone shook her a little and broke her composure making her lower her folded arms. 'What did you think? That I would run around all of Nainital looking for you?! There is such a thing as ethics that one should follow when they are with someone. I know there is no point in lecturing a person like you on social conduct but really Khushi, I really didn't think you would stoop that low. To run away, leave without informing me that's even beneath you! I knew you were no good but I didn't take you to be a coward!! But I guess I should have, considering your activities suggest all the other characteristics a coward has-
'ENOUGH!!' his label broke her resolve to not engage in any sort of conversation with him that was not official. 'Enough. I have no interest in listening to your opinions about me, I heard enough back in Nainital. I don't have the patience to listen to anymore of it. You don't like me, I get it, I won't make the mistake of crossing your path again unless absolutely necessary ok? Now if you'll please leave me in peace, this may be your property but as I am leasing it at the moment it is my house and you are not welcome in it!' with that she turned and stomped back towards her bedroom, before her tears gave way in front of him. It still hurt her that he thought so lowly of her. His words brought back the image of her aunt and mother, further gutting her for she realized they must think as badly of her as he did. Would she ever be able to earn their forgiveness, show them that she wasn't all bad? That she had done a terrible thing but truly resented herself for it and wanted nothing but to do good for them. Would she ever manage to get across to them that she loved them and would never hurt them in the same manner ever again?
'Khush-
'I said GO!' Khushi turned and hollered at Arnav, only it wasn't Arnav who had called her but Anjali. Who now was taken aback by her sudden anger. 'Oh God, Di. I thought- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...' Anjali looked from Khushi's apologetic face to Arnav's peeved one and understood that her brother must have said something to her. She sighed, she had told him not to bother her... Shaking her head at her brother, she limped towards Khushi with a tray of food in her hand.
'Its' ok. Here I brought you some food.' She started handing the tray over to her when Arnav intercepted it.
'Wait Di. If she's hungry, she can join the rest of us on the dining table for dinner. This is a house not a hotel, where we will provide her with room service!' He barked, angry at the outburst from Khushi. Not realizing that he himself had instigated it, for she had been annoyed but composed when he had walked in. Which he had not liked; he didn't like it when she was silent.
'Chotay!' Anjali reproved, but before she could have gone on to say anything else Khushi cut in.
'Its' ok Di. I'm not hungry as it is.'
'Khushi, please don't listen to him. You need to eat otherwise how will you build your strength and help your Bauji.' She reminded her. 'I thought you said you were going to go to the heart centre here in Delhi tomorrow with your Jeejaji to try and get him shifted here for his treatment as both you and Payal are here. So then you need to eat.' With that she turned towards Arnav and made to grab the tray, but he moved it out of the way and instead voiced his confusion.
'Heart centre? Why is Khushi going to the heart centre?'
'Because, her Bauji just had a heart attack Chotay. Now I know its' hard for you, but stop being rude and give me that tray!' She said angrily as she grabbed it out of his hands, only to drop it with a clatter the next moment; for she had spied his bloody bandage when she took the tray from him. 'HUNH!!! CHOTAY!!' she shrieked, causing both Khushi and Arnav to jump, at the sound of her voice and the breaking of the tray and china on top of it.
'What Di? What?' he gripped her, not realizing his wound was the cause of her anguish, while Khushi came to her side too.
'Chotay, what's this? What happened?!!' she grabbed his hand and waved it in front of his face.
'Oh, that...' he said pulling his hand out of hers'. Crap, he had forgotten about changing the bandage, seeing the light on in the pool-house had made all other thoughts leave his mind. 'I...uh...scraped it while gardening earlier...'
'Scrape?!! Scrape Chotay!! If you had scraped it than there wouldn't have been so much blood!! Oh my God I must get you to the hospital. What if the wound gets sceptic? What if you fall ill?!! Hunh?! How are you feeling you don't have a fever do you?!!' she frantically placed her palm on his forehead and neck to be sure, 'Oh Chotay, your so careless! Hari Prakash, tell the driver to take the car out we need to take Chotay to the hospital right away!!' Anjali yelled as she started pulling Arnav towards to the door. But Arnav had no intention of going to the hospital.
'Dii!! Stop! I'm fine. It's just a cut, all I need to do is change the bandage.'
'Chotay, I'm not listening to a word, you need to go to the hospital, you may need stitches! Oh God.'
'I don't need stitches Di. I'm fine. Just get the first aid box. HP get the first aid kit!!' He yelled from the pool area as Anjali had managed to get him out of the outhouse. Hari Prakash came running with the box. 'Here Di, you can change it yourself, that way you can see that it will require no stitches ok.'
'Chotay...'
'Di, please...just change the bandages that's all. I'm not going to the hospital.'
'But Chotay...'
'Ok, fine, if I feel a fever coming then I will go myself, but otherwise no. Ok?'
'Hmm...show me your hand.' She said as she sat down on the bathing chairs next to the pool and began dressing his wound.
Khushi watched the brother and sister from her porch; Anjali scolding his carelessness and yet scrunching her face in pain at the thought of the ointment stinging him. It reminded her of her Amma, which caused a tear to escape her eye. She missed her so much. Well if she wished to get in her good graces again she needed to get to work, wiping away her tears, she went back inside and called Aakash to convey her plan of bringing Shashi to Delhi for treatment, as she and Payal couldn't stay in Lucknow anymore and Amma and Buaji couldn't manage the countless rounds at the hospital that would be required for Bauji now, as well as the fact that the facilities here were better. There was another reason for her wanting to bring them all here, which was, them being here meant that she could begin winning their hearts again, although this part she kept to herself.
An hour later when she walked out into the lounge to turn the lights out as she was going to bed she found Arnav start up next to the kitchen counter on being made. Anger boiled inside of her. Had she not made it clear she wanted nothing to do with him.
'What?!! What now?! Another lecture on my character?!! Well I'm not interested, you can think whatever you wish to think about me, I don't care!! Did I not make it clear earlier?!! What was it that you said to me in Nainital? Ah, yes, that I am a nothing! That for you I am insignificant, right?!! Well it may be news to you, but you too are insignificant for me!! You too mean absolutely nothing to me! I went with you to Nainital, for Di's sake, because I knew she would be worried sick about you, as your blood-sugar had been low that day and I left Nainital for my Bauji, he was in the hospital. You had nothing to do with it!! Absolutely nothing!! Undertstand!! Nothing!!' she bellowed. Infuriated at him for making her feel so small. For him thinking her capable of something as horrible as having an affair with a married man. For him calling her a coward. Well if he could hold all these opinions about her then she wanted nothing to do with him and considering he was not understanding her silence then she figured the best way for her was to say it, out loud once and for all.
'Khushi, I-
'No Mr Raizada! I don't want to hear it!! I've heard all your thoughts, now no more. Please, just leave!' with that she turned her back towards him, ending all conversation.
He turned to leave too, not wanting to upset her anymore. He was ashamed with himself for having aggravated her when she must have been distressed about her father. Thus he did not pester her any longer but strode out of her house and towards his room across the lawn.
When she could no longer hear the sounds of his footfalls, she turned to check if he really was gone. He was. She walked over to the door and bolted it, before he decided to come back again. She switched off the lounge lights and moved towards the kitchen to turn the lights off there too, when a tray on the counter stopped her. How could that be? The tray Anjali had brought had broken, she herself had thrown away its pieces and the food in the bin, then what was a fresh new tray doing here laden with food. Hot food, for its wafts were enfusing the room. It didn't make any sense, had she imagined the broken tray; she checked the dustbin under the sink. The broken pieces and spoiled food were in there, then...Arnav. She jerked her head towards the direction of his room. Through the window next to the door she could see his silhoutte from the behind the curtains in his room. He was sitting on his settee, sipping away at something from his mug. His bitter black coffee, most likely. A warmth infused inside of her. He had brought her dinner. He knew she had not eaten, thus he left a tray of warm food and she had bit his head off!!Ugh! Khushi Kumari Gupta!! You should have at least stopped to see what he had been doing in the kitchen but no, you just started shouting at him!!
She stared at his shadow. Why had he left her the food? He hated her, did he not? Anjali's voice echoed inside her head...that's his apology I'm afraid, don't expect a word one, Chotay doesn't know how to do that, instead of apologizing he will give you another reason to get angry at him...she had told her that when he had emptied his study for her. Was this another one of his apologies? Well if so, then she wasn't going to accept it! He would actually have to verbally acknowledge his mistake this time, for calling her a mistress. These gestures won't let him off the hook, for hurting her with his words, no matter how much they pulled at her heart or called to her stomach for that matter; her stomach was definitely rumbling now, she had not realized it but as soon as the aroma of the dinner had filled her nostrils her stomach had given a wild lurch. But no! She was going to ignore it! He couldn't just humiliate her and then leave a plate of delicious food as a peace offering. No matter how much she loved eating or how hungry she was! She was not going to eat it, or accept his apology! No way! This decided she switched the kitchen lights off and hurried back into her room before the food called to her and changed her mind.
However, this was all inconsequential as twenty minutes later her stomach got the best of her and she found herself drawing a chair next to the kitchen counter and scarfing down delicious mouthfuls of rice and curry. Once she had finished it the guilt set in, of her giving into Arnav's peace offering. And she began pacing the room, how could she let him off so easily? By the twelfth round it occurred to her that she had not actually broken her resolve, for he may have left the dinner for her but he had not made it. It was made by Anjali, so she had eaten the food not to disrespect Anjali or the food, not because it had been left by Arnav. Thus it was ok, she had not let him off. This settled, she snuggled into her bed, her mind at peace now as her stomach was full and her resolve against Arnav still intact.
*****
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