‘I wasn’t asking your permission Jiji, I was telling you that this is what I am planning on doing.’ Khushi put her foot down.
‘But Khushi, you can’t. I mean think about the child that you are bearing inside of you, you shouldn’t be doing this.’ Reasoned Payal.
‘I am thinking about my child, that is why I decided on this.’ Answered back Khushi.
‘How is you straining yourself going to help your child?!’ solicited Payal.
‘It’s going to help pave for his/her future.’ Replied Khushi.
‘Future?!’ huffed Payal, ‘What about the now Khushi?! Have you thought how you running around in Delhi breathing all the exhaust fumes is not the best thing for your pregnancy?!!!’
‘Uffho, JIji, it’s not like I’m going to be walking to the offices, I will take a rickshaw, fine a cab’ she amended as the scowl on Payal’s face deepened, ‘ and it’s not as if the I’m going to a factory to ask for manual labour, I will be going to air-conditioned offices to ask for a desk job. I am qualified for one you know.’
‘Pfft’ Payal pursed her lips noisily, ‘I don’t know Khushi, it doesn’t seem right. You shouldn’t be working right now, you need to rest, relax…you need to find a gynecologist and get your check up done, not run around Delhi for a job.’
‘Jiji, I have to start thinking realistically, this is happening, I am pregnant and I will be having a baby in about nine months time, I need to start preparing for it, because unlike other mothers I do not have the luxury of a husband who will take care of me and the baby, financially or otherwise. I have been here a week and have given it serious thought, I can actually do something here. It’s not like Lucknow Jiji, where a single mother is a novelty. Offices employ single mothers and give them benefits acknowledging the fact that they are a single working mother. I actually have chance here to do something for my kid, without having to fight countless battles, which I would have had to do back home. Jiji, I know you have my back, but when Jeejaji realizes that I’m pregnant do you think he will still support me, no, listen before you start shaking your head. He won’t, or even if he will, it won’t be right because my child is my responsibility not his. Plus I don’t want him to get any negative feelings for you, for dumping me and my kid’s responsibility on to him, I would hate if my problems led to create problems for you JIji, I would never be able to forgive myself. Also Jiji, truthfully, even if by some miracle Amma, Bauji, Buaji and Jeejaji are all happy and supportive of me and my condition, I still would not want to put the responsibility of raising my child on any one of them, because its’ not right, I should be responsible for all his/her need, emotional, financial and social. And for that I need to get a job. Can you understand that?’
‘Yes, yes I can.’ Sighed Payal. ‘But…never mind, I can see nothing I say will change your mind. Although I don’t know if Aakash will agree to you working, I mean he may take offense thinking that you feel the need to finance yourself while he is here, I mean he doesn’t know the whole story…so you will have to figure out how to convince him.’ She added, as a smug smile played across her face on how she thought Aakash’s disapproval may get her to finally do what she wanted her too, stay at home and rest.
‘Hmm, fine I will deal with that…but Jiji no cheating, I can see the plan already forming in your head you will not tell Jeejaji to stop me, no wifey tricks, it is fair game, if he says yes then yes it is and if he says no then fine….but you will not deliberately make his decision for him…’ Khushi said as she eyed her poignantly.
‘Fine I won’t but that doesn’t mean he will agree….’ Payal retorted defiantly.
‘We’ll see.’ Said Khushi.
‘Yes we will! Now as long as you are still here will help me with arranging the china into the shelves.’ With that she stomped off into the direction of the dining area, where the shelf was.
In the evening after the dinner was done and they were lazing around in the lounging area, Khushi approached her brother-in-law with a game plan. ‘Jeejaji?’
‘Yeah?’ Aakash said looking up from the TV screen that was showing an old cricket match.
‘What do you think of a working woman? As in are you pro or against them?’ Khushi tethered the subject.
‘Hmm…to tell you the truth I haven’t thought much about it Khushi.’ He responded.
‘Oh, but if asked what would your opinion be on them? I mean many men in our society don’t like the idea of the women in their house working, be it wife or sister, so what about you, would you mind?’ she pushed on.
‘Umm….no. No I wouldn’t. I think it’s good that a woman strives to be independent. That she wishes to venture out the house and be acquainted with the world, because the truth of the matter is you never know what’s going to happen next, I mean what if a woman’s husband dies and she is a mother then the responsibility of raising that child lands on her. She needs to manage it all by herself, because let’s face it she is unlikely to find another husband as men in this society prefer to marry a single woman, if not her then a divorcé they try to avoid widowed mothers, for two reason one the responsibility of another’s kid and two a widow means that she and her husband are separate due to circumstance rather than choice, i.e. She is most likely still in love with her husband. So a woman in her position then needs to take responsibility, but what would happen if she never ventured out if she was completely dependent on her husband than how will she manage, she will learn eventually but how much would she lose while she learned the ways of the world. So yeah, I’m pro woman working, because they should know the ways of the world as no one knows what may happen next. Plus she should also work because no one should have complete dependence on one person they should have some independence, I mean yes her husband or her father will provide her with necessary pocket money and may be a little more on top but I don’t see the harm in her earning her own. Also two incomes is always better than one and a woman brings her unique ideas to the work place too so that is beneficial to a business too. So yeah I think she should work…wow…and to think that I hadn’t thought this through…but I guess I always felt this way hence didn’t really need to question myself whether I agreed with it or not.’ Smiled Aakash, then his smile contorted into confusion as a thought hit him, ‘But why do ask this my dear Saali-ji?’
‘Well I was wondering if you would be ok with me working…before you give me your decision just here me out ok?’ Aakash nodded, ‘Firstly, I want you to know I mean no disrespect by it Jeeja ji, I understand you have no issues with keeping me here or supporting me whilst I am here, if you did you would not have suggested my coming here in the first place. I ask this because things have changed, like you said one never knows what will happen to them next, I keep on thinking about how if I had married Shyam without finding the truth about him and then after our marriage he left me then what would I have done, like you said one should never be completely dependent on one person, they should have some independence or at least know how the ways of the world are in case circumstance forces them into that situation. Thus it got me thinking that this is a rude awakening for me, that I have to get out of my dream world and accept that brutal things like this happen to people and so I want to prepare myself. I’m not saying that if another man comes into my life he will be the same, because he may not be, but what if circumstance takes him away from me too, then what. Also I have to consider the fact that I may never get married…No Jiji, Jeejaji listen, I know both of you love me and you hope that one day I do get married, but I have to consider it realistically, with a broken engagement people won’t be coming knocking on my door or not as a first resort anyway, so marriage may not happen for me, in that case I don’t want to be forever dependent on Bauji or you. I see how Bauji struggles as it is supporting Amma, Buaji and me. We get by but it is not easy for him and he is getting older all I want to do is help, is that wrong? As you said two incomes are always better than one especially with the increasing expenses. Me getting a job, will get me something to do and will ease a bit of Bauji’s burden too.’ Khushi ended her explanation and looked up hopefully at Aakash, but he didn’t respond immediately he was in some deep thought.
‘Hmmm….I get your point Khushi, more then you may realize, because being an only child and seeing my parents struggle I yearned nothing more than to start working and earning too, but my parents stopped me saying how I needed to complete my education before I could work. When I finally did set up my business and started contributing to the running’s of the household I cannot tell you the satisfaction I felt seeing how my parents could finally relax as I was now supporting them too. So I get it, but Khushi at the end of the day it is not me you have to convince, which is what I was going to say earlier before you stopped me was this, that if you wish to work I have no problems, like I said I value a working woman, however, I can’t say the same for your parents, not that they don’t have a broad mind, because they do but they also have pride, the same pride that I see in your eyes, pride that may not accept their daughter supporting them as they come from the generation where parents support their children (especially girls) not the other way round. So it’s really them you need to ask not me. If they say yes than I have no issues.’ He concluded.
A smile spread across Khushi’s face, ‘You have no problem, brilliant! And yeah I know I need Bauji and Amma’s approval I will work on that too, but you agree, that’s great!’ she turned to face Payal, eyes twinkling, she expected Payal to be wearing a disapproving look, however, she was shocked to find a tear escaping her eyes as a smile spread on her face too, ‘Jiji? What’s this?’ she asked, catching the tear that fell, ‘I thought you were against me working, but from the expression you are wearing right now I could swear you were happy with it too.’
Payal blew her nose and smiled at Khushi, ‘Oh Khushi I’m still not sure how I feel about you working, but seeing your determination right now in how you explained it all to your Jeeju, I don’t see how he or anyone could deny you your bequest. When you put it that way, who can?’ she said half-turning towards Aakash, to see if he agreed.
‘Your Jiji is right, the way you fight your case, you may want to take up law…’ he laughed, ‘so have you even considered what job you would like to apply for?’
‘Yes.’ Khushi’s face lit up, as she rushed out of the room and came back flushed with a newspaper clipping. She opened her mouth to tell him about the job that had caught her attention but was stubbed by Payal’s scolding her, ‘Khushi how many times do I have to tell you to be careful now, you shouldn’t be doing any sudden movements! I mean you complained this morning how moving that carton had brought about a spasm in your back, you don’t want to strain it now do you?’ she amended seeing Aakash look up at her trying to decipher why it was inappropriate for Khushi to be prancing about.
‘Oh, right. Yeah my bad, sorry just got a little excited.’ Khushi mumbled and then went onto show the job advertisement to Aakash, before he could ask too many questions regarding what had just passed. ‘A fashion company are looking for a designer, I thought that would be perfect for me as I have done a course in Indian fashions and I know fabrics and needle work like the back of my hand. What do you think?’
He considered the advert, ’this is is a good company, from what I understand. It’s a partnership company of AR group of companies, which is one of the biggest business empires here in India. If you can get a job here it will be excellent. You will have experience from a prestigious firm and will be associated with the AR group of companies, if you decide to change jobs after a year or so this will open many doors for you. Having said all this, I wish to warn for the very reason that it is such a high profile place it will not be easy getting a job and that too at such a high level. I don’t wish to scare you but just want to prepare you that if you don’t get this job don’t be disheartened. The best of the best get rejected from this place. I have heard how the owner hand picks his employees himself, right down to the maintenance crew.’ With that he handed her the clipping back and turned his attention back on to the flat screen leaving Khushi in jitters. She now had two big obstacles, Bauji and then this job interview. She had to pass both. She didn’t have the luxury of time for either as her situation would become more precarious as the days went by, she needed to nail a job as soon as possible.
In the morning she rang Bau ji, knowing that it was really him who needed to give the ascent on her working Amma and Buaji would agree if he did, even if they didn’t like the idea. After the usual preliminaries of how she was doing and how they all were Khushi launched straight into her reason for calling. It took a long time to convince Bauji, as Aakash had said, while he understood his daughter’s reason for wanting to do it, his pride would not allow him to accept it. But eventually she was able to win him over using a mix of emotional drama of how they needed to be prepared seeing as life had many unexpected turns, she hinted at the accident that had taken her parents away from her, conveying how if something like that happened again then where would that leave Khushi, Payal and Buaji. Furthermore she added how marriage didn’t seem feasible to her, although he tried to explain her chances were not quenched for people did get over a broken engagement, she said how she still needed to consider that may not happen, for she knew what he didn’t that it was not just a broken engagement if it was just that then yes it wouldn’t have really mattered it was the fact that she was pregnant which would ensure no marriage for her. Thus a combination of gloomy scenarios, mixed in with Khushi’s fierce determination of wanting this brought about the ‘yes’ she had been fighting for.
Now she sat in front of the mirror, butterflies fluttering ferociously in her stomach at the thought of the interview she was about go for in two hours. Now that she was this close to it, fear gripped her, she was afraid of what would happen if she didn’t get it, she had argued so much for this but what if she didn’t get the job. Then what?
‘It wouldn’t be the end of the world Khushi.’ Said Payal from the doorway, understanding her sister’s plight from the paled expression on her face.
‘Hunh? Jiji when did you come. I was…I was just getting ready to leave, is the taxi I called for here.’ Payal had insisted that if she must do this then she better travel in an air-conditioned cab, she didn’t want her inhaling any exhaust fumes as it wouldn’t be good for the baby.
‘Its’ ok to admit that you’re nervous Khushi, no one will think any less of you.’ Payal said kindly.
‘Nervous…Pshaw…Jiji who is nervous I am just thinking about whether there will be anything to eat there, I mean I don’t know how long it will take me and you know how hungry I get.’ She said as her fingers nervously wrapped around her dupatta.
‘Not nervous hunh?’ Payal perked her eyebrows as she pointed towards Khushi’s hands which were threatening to rip a whole in the hem of her dupatta, ‘so then I take it that this is some sort of fashion statement you wish to show the interviewers to see, a hole in your clothes….’
‘What?’ Khushi looked down alarmed at the prospect of having ripped her dupatta. ‘Jiji!’ she gritted her teeth, ‘you scared me.’ She said as she let go of the dupatta and patted it down.
‘Well it would have had breathing holes in it if I hadn’t made you stop just yet. So you planning on fessing up to what is plaguing that mischievous mind of yours, or do you want me to draw it out of you like I usually do?’
‘Hmpf.’ Khushi puffed, ‘Jiji, I am terrified, I mean yesterday when I was arguing about getting a job, this job, I was so sure of myself, but now when I am moments away from the interview I am so scared, what if it doesn’t work out, what if they don’t take me?’
‘Then their loss and someone else’s gain. Khushi if you don’t get this job then I am sure there will be others you can try for and get.’ Payal reasoned.
‘Yes I suppose so. But Jiji I really like the sound of this job, it is my forte. I really want it.’
‘Well then hopefully you will get it. But Khushi if you don’t, then don’t be disheartened sweetie, you know what Aakash said, this is an esteemed company so it’s ok you may not be ready for it yet but may be after some years of experience they may accept you. So don’t worry about it, just believe in yourself, if this is your job then no one can take it from you and if it isn’t then no matter what you won’t get it. Don’t think too much just be relaxed and give the interview leave the rest to destiny. Okay.’ Payal consoled her.
‘Yes you are right Jiji. I have nothing to be afraid of I am qualified and I possess the talent, besides if its’ mine then it will be, if not then no, so no point in worrying my head over it.’ Smiling Khushi adjusted herself and made to leave for the office.
An hour later as she stood outside the LaANK office doors, she felt nausea and anxiety build up inside her again. However, she recalled her conversation with Payal, took a deep breath, squared her shoulders and marched in as she belonged there.
‘But Khushi, you can’t. I mean think about the child that you are bearing inside of you, you shouldn’t be doing this.’ Reasoned Payal.
‘I am thinking about my child, that is why I decided on this.’ Answered back Khushi.
‘How is you straining yourself going to help your child?!’ solicited Payal.
‘It’s going to help pave for his/her future.’ Replied Khushi.
‘Future?!’ huffed Payal, ‘What about the now Khushi?! Have you thought how you running around in Delhi breathing all the exhaust fumes is not the best thing for your pregnancy?!!!’
‘Uffho, JIji, it’s not like I’m going to be walking to the offices, I will take a rickshaw, fine a cab’ she amended as the scowl on Payal’s face deepened, ‘ and it’s not as if the I’m going to a factory to ask for manual labour, I will be going to air-conditioned offices to ask for a desk job. I am qualified for one you know.’
‘Pfft’ Payal pursed her lips noisily, ‘I don’t know Khushi, it doesn’t seem right. You shouldn’t be working right now, you need to rest, relax…you need to find a gynecologist and get your check up done, not run around Delhi for a job.’
‘Jiji, I have to start thinking realistically, this is happening, I am pregnant and I will be having a baby in about nine months time, I need to start preparing for it, because unlike other mothers I do not have the luxury of a husband who will take care of me and the baby, financially or otherwise. I have been here a week and have given it serious thought, I can actually do something here. It’s not like Lucknow Jiji, where a single mother is a novelty. Offices employ single mothers and give them benefits acknowledging the fact that they are a single working mother. I actually have chance here to do something for my kid, without having to fight countless battles, which I would have had to do back home. Jiji, I know you have my back, but when Jeejaji realizes that I’m pregnant do you think he will still support me, no, listen before you start shaking your head. He won’t, or even if he will, it won’t be right because my child is my responsibility not his. Plus I don’t want him to get any negative feelings for you, for dumping me and my kid’s responsibility on to him, I would hate if my problems led to create problems for you JIji, I would never be able to forgive myself. Also Jiji, truthfully, even if by some miracle Amma, Bauji, Buaji and Jeejaji are all happy and supportive of me and my condition, I still would not want to put the responsibility of raising my child on any one of them, because its’ not right, I should be responsible for all his/her need, emotional, financial and social. And for that I need to get a job. Can you understand that?’
‘Yes, yes I can.’ Sighed Payal. ‘But…never mind, I can see nothing I say will change your mind. Although I don’t know if Aakash will agree to you working, I mean he may take offense thinking that you feel the need to finance yourself while he is here, I mean he doesn’t know the whole story…so you will have to figure out how to convince him.’ She added, as a smug smile played across her face on how she thought Aakash’s disapproval may get her to finally do what she wanted her too, stay at home and rest.
‘Hmm, fine I will deal with that…but Jiji no cheating, I can see the plan already forming in your head you will not tell Jeejaji to stop me, no wifey tricks, it is fair game, if he says yes then yes it is and if he says no then fine….but you will not deliberately make his decision for him…’ Khushi said as she eyed her poignantly.
‘Fine I won’t but that doesn’t mean he will agree….’ Payal retorted defiantly.
‘We’ll see.’ Said Khushi.
‘Yes we will! Now as long as you are still here will help me with arranging the china into the shelves.’ With that she stomped off into the direction of the dining area, where the shelf was.
In the evening after the dinner was done and they were lazing around in the lounging area, Khushi approached her brother-in-law with a game plan. ‘Jeejaji?’
‘Yeah?’ Aakash said looking up from the TV screen that was showing an old cricket match.
‘What do you think of a working woman? As in are you pro or against them?’ Khushi tethered the subject.
‘Hmm…to tell you the truth I haven’t thought much about it Khushi.’ He responded.
‘Oh, but if asked what would your opinion be on them? I mean many men in our society don’t like the idea of the women in their house working, be it wife or sister, so what about you, would you mind?’ she pushed on.
‘Umm….no. No I wouldn’t. I think it’s good that a woman strives to be independent. That she wishes to venture out the house and be acquainted with the world, because the truth of the matter is you never know what’s going to happen next, I mean what if a woman’s husband dies and she is a mother then the responsibility of raising that child lands on her. She needs to manage it all by herself, because let’s face it she is unlikely to find another husband as men in this society prefer to marry a single woman, if not her then a divorcé they try to avoid widowed mothers, for two reason one the responsibility of another’s kid and two a widow means that she and her husband are separate due to circumstance rather than choice, i.e. She is most likely still in love with her husband. So a woman in her position then needs to take responsibility, but what would happen if she never ventured out if she was completely dependent on her husband than how will she manage, she will learn eventually but how much would she lose while she learned the ways of the world. So yeah, I’m pro woman working, because they should know the ways of the world as no one knows what may happen next. Plus she should also work because no one should have complete dependence on one person they should have some independence, I mean yes her husband or her father will provide her with necessary pocket money and may be a little more on top but I don’t see the harm in her earning her own. Also two incomes is always better than one and a woman brings her unique ideas to the work place too so that is beneficial to a business too. So yeah I think she should work…wow…and to think that I hadn’t thought this through…but I guess I always felt this way hence didn’t really need to question myself whether I agreed with it or not.’ Smiled Aakash, then his smile contorted into confusion as a thought hit him, ‘But why do ask this my dear Saali-ji?’
‘Well I was wondering if you would be ok with me working…before you give me your decision just here me out ok?’ Aakash nodded, ‘Firstly, I want you to know I mean no disrespect by it Jeeja ji, I understand you have no issues with keeping me here or supporting me whilst I am here, if you did you would not have suggested my coming here in the first place. I ask this because things have changed, like you said one never knows what will happen to them next, I keep on thinking about how if I had married Shyam without finding the truth about him and then after our marriage he left me then what would I have done, like you said one should never be completely dependent on one person, they should have some independence or at least know how the ways of the world are in case circumstance forces them into that situation. Thus it got me thinking that this is a rude awakening for me, that I have to get out of my dream world and accept that brutal things like this happen to people and so I want to prepare myself. I’m not saying that if another man comes into my life he will be the same, because he may not be, but what if circumstance takes him away from me too, then what. Also I have to consider the fact that I may never get married…No Jiji, Jeejaji listen, I know both of you love me and you hope that one day I do get married, but I have to consider it realistically, with a broken engagement people won’t be coming knocking on my door or not as a first resort anyway, so marriage may not happen for me, in that case I don’t want to be forever dependent on Bauji or you. I see how Bauji struggles as it is supporting Amma, Buaji and me. We get by but it is not easy for him and he is getting older all I want to do is help, is that wrong? As you said two incomes are always better than one especially with the increasing expenses. Me getting a job, will get me something to do and will ease a bit of Bauji’s burden too.’ Khushi ended her explanation and looked up hopefully at Aakash, but he didn’t respond immediately he was in some deep thought.
‘Hmmm….I get your point Khushi, more then you may realize, because being an only child and seeing my parents struggle I yearned nothing more than to start working and earning too, but my parents stopped me saying how I needed to complete my education before I could work. When I finally did set up my business and started contributing to the running’s of the household I cannot tell you the satisfaction I felt seeing how my parents could finally relax as I was now supporting them too. So I get it, but Khushi at the end of the day it is not me you have to convince, which is what I was going to say earlier before you stopped me was this, that if you wish to work I have no problems, like I said I value a working woman, however, I can’t say the same for your parents, not that they don’t have a broad mind, because they do but they also have pride, the same pride that I see in your eyes, pride that may not accept their daughter supporting them as they come from the generation where parents support their children (especially girls) not the other way round. So it’s really them you need to ask not me. If they say yes than I have no issues.’ He concluded.
A smile spread across Khushi’s face, ‘You have no problem, brilliant! And yeah I know I need Bauji and Amma’s approval I will work on that too, but you agree, that’s great!’ she turned to face Payal, eyes twinkling, she expected Payal to be wearing a disapproving look, however, she was shocked to find a tear escaping her eyes as a smile spread on her face too, ‘Jiji? What’s this?’ she asked, catching the tear that fell, ‘I thought you were against me working, but from the expression you are wearing right now I could swear you were happy with it too.’
Payal blew her nose and smiled at Khushi, ‘Oh Khushi I’m still not sure how I feel about you working, but seeing your determination right now in how you explained it all to your Jeeju, I don’t see how he or anyone could deny you your bequest. When you put it that way, who can?’ she said half-turning towards Aakash, to see if he agreed.
‘Your Jiji is right, the way you fight your case, you may want to take up law…’ he laughed, ‘so have you even considered what job you would like to apply for?’
‘Yes.’ Khushi’s face lit up, as she rushed out of the room and came back flushed with a newspaper clipping. She opened her mouth to tell him about the job that had caught her attention but was stubbed by Payal’s scolding her, ‘Khushi how many times do I have to tell you to be careful now, you shouldn’t be doing any sudden movements! I mean you complained this morning how moving that carton had brought about a spasm in your back, you don’t want to strain it now do you?’ she amended seeing Aakash look up at her trying to decipher why it was inappropriate for Khushi to be prancing about.
‘Oh, right. Yeah my bad, sorry just got a little excited.’ Khushi mumbled and then went onto show the job advertisement to Aakash, before he could ask too many questions regarding what had just passed. ‘A fashion company are looking for a designer, I thought that would be perfect for me as I have done a course in Indian fashions and I know fabrics and needle work like the back of my hand. What do you think?’
He considered the advert, ’this is is a good company, from what I understand. It’s a partnership company of AR group of companies, which is one of the biggest business empires here in India. If you can get a job here it will be excellent. You will have experience from a prestigious firm and will be associated with the AR group of companies, if you decide to change jobs after a year or so this will open many doors for you. Having said all this, I wish to warn for the very reason that it is such a high profile place it will not be easy getting a job and that too at such a high level. I don’t wish to scare you but just want to prepare you that if you don’t get this job don’t be disheartened. The best of the best get rejected from this place. I have heard how the owner hand picks his employees himself, right down to the maintenance crew.’ With that he handed her the clipping back and turned his attention back on to the flat screen leaving Khushi in jitters. She now had two big obstacles, Bauji and then this job interview. She had to pass both. She didn’t have the luxury of time for either as her situation would become more precarious as the days went by, she needed to nail a job as soon as possible.
In the morning she rang Bau ji, knowing that it was really him who needed to give the ascent on her working Amma and Buaji would agree if he did, even if they didn’t like the idea. After the usual preliminaries of how she was doing and how they all were Khushi launched straight into her reason for calling. It took a long time to convince Bauji, as Aakash had said, while he understood his daughter’s reason for wanting to do it, his pride would not allow him to accept it. But eventually she was able to win him over using a mix of emotional drama of how they needed to be prepared seeing as life had many unexpected turns, she hinted at the accident that had taken her parents away from her, conveying how if something like that happened again then where would that leave Khushi, Payal and Buaji. Furthermore she added how marriage didn’t seem feasible to her, although he tried to explain her chances were not quenched for people did get over a broken engagement, she said how she still needed to consider that may not happen, for she knew what he didn’t that it was not just a broken engagement if it was just that then yes it wouldn’t have really mattered it was the fact that she was pregnant which would ensure no marriage for her. Thus a combination of gloomy scenarios, mixed in with Khushi’s fierce determination of wanting this brought about the ‘yes’ she had been fighting for.
Now she sat in front of the mirror, butterflies fluttering ferociously in her stomach at the thought of the interview she was about go for in two hours. Now that she was this close to it, fear gripped her, she was afraid of what would happen if she didn’t get it, she had argued so much for this but what if she didn’t get the job. Then what?
‘It wouldn’t be the end of the world Khushi.’ Said Payal from the doorway, understanding her sister’s plight from the paled expression on her face.
‘Hunh? Jiji when did you come. I was…I was just getting ready to leave, is the taxi I called for here.’ Payal had insisted that if she must do this then she better travel in an air-conditioned cab, she didn’t want her inhaling any exhaust fumes as it wouldn’t be good for the baby.
‘Its’ ok to admit that you’re nervous Khushi, no one will think any less of you.’ Payal said kindly.
‘Nervous…Pshaw…Jiji who is nervous I am just thinking about whether there will be anything to eat there, I mean I don’t know how long it will take me and you know how hungry I get.’ She said as her fingers nervously wrapped around her dupatta.
‘Not nervous hunh?’ Payal perked her eyebrows as she pointed towards Khushi’s hands which were threatening to rip a whole in the hem of her dupatta, ‘so then I take it that this is some sort of fashion statement you wish to show the interviewers to see, a hole in your clothes….’
‘What?’ Khushi looked down alarmed at the prospect of having ripped her dupatta. ‘Jiji!’ she gritted her teeth, ‘you scared me.’ She said as she let go of the dupatta and patted it down.
‘Well it would have had breathing holes in it if I hadn’t made you stop just yet. So you planning on fessing up to what is plaguing that mischievous mind of yours, or do you want me to draw it out of you like I usually do?’
‘Hmpf.’ Khushi puffed, ‘Jiji, I am terrified, I mean yesterday when I was arguing about getting a job, this job, I was so sure of myself, but now when I am moments away from the interview I am so scared, what if it doesn’t work out, what if they don’t take me?’
‘Then their loss and someone else’s gain. Khushi if you don’t get this job then I am sure there will be others you can try for and get.’ Payal reasoned.
‘Yes I suppose so. But Jiji I really like the sound of this job, it is my forte. I really want it.’
‘Well then hopefully you will get it. But Khushi if you don’t, then don’t be disheartened sweetie, you know what Aakash said, this is an esteemed company so it’s ok you may not be ready for it yet but may be after some years of experience they may accept you. So don’t worry about it, just believe in yourself, if this is your job then no one can take it from you and if it isn’t then no matter what you won’t get it. Don’t think too much just be relaxed and give the interview leave the rest to destiny. Okay.’ Payal consoled her.
‘Yes you are right Jiji. I have nothing to be afraid of I am qualified and I possess the talent, besides if its’ mine then it will be, if not then no, so no point in worrying my head over it.’ Smiling Khushi adjusted herself and made to leave for the office.
An hour later as she stood outside the LaANK office doors, she felt nausea and anxiety build up inside her again. However, she recalled her conversation with Payal, took a deep breath, squared her shoulders and marched in as she belonged there.
*****
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