CRASH!!
The sound of something breaking from within the cabin jolted Khushi out of her shock at witnessing the intense argument followed by the stupefying fight that took place between Arnav and Shyam. Her ghostly white frame was still in a crouch outside Arnav’s office, minutes after Shyam had sauntered away cowardly; digesting the incomprehensible truth: Arnav was behind Shyam’s comeuppance. In hindsight it made sense, only he would have construed such an elaborate scheme that would bring Shyam down to his knees, but as always she had never thought he would do that. Just the way she had never believed him capable of love, only to learn that his love was deeper than the ocean of guilt she found herself drowning in.
‘Surinder why the hell have I appointed you as guard, if you cannot keep unwanted people out of this office….make sure that asshole never crosses this threshold ever again!!’ Arnav’s slammed the receiver of his intercom on the desk, making Khushi start. She wrenched her white hand away from the hinge of the door, where she had gripped it to give her support during the fight and shakily got to her feet. Her quivering frame entered the office just as Arnav pivoted around to find something else to punch his fist in, the shattered ashtray (kept for delegates) on the ground next to his feet, the source of the earlier crash, had not been enough to vent out his anger upon seeing Shyam but not managing to giving him the beating he deserved. However, as he turned away from the table and towards his door, his eyes landed on his new, pale visitor and his anger instantly dispelled as shock then tension replaced it. When had Khushi come? Had she seen Shyam? Oh god he hoped she had not. He had worked so hard to keep this all from her just to make sure she never had to cross paths with Shyam ever again, only she might have now. What had she heard? What was she thinking? God she looked sickly. She must have witnessed something. Oh god why was he always so oblivious when it came to her, always hurting her when he set out do something good for her.
‘Khu- Khu- Khushi. Wha- uh…I mean when did you get here?’ Arnav crunched his way on top of the glass towards her. She flinched at the sound as her eyes widened, as they focused on the trail of maroon that flowed in his wake. He was bleeding.
‘You’re bleeding Arnav ji.’ She cried out hoarsely, pointing to his right hand that was now creating a pool of red next to his feet inches away from hers’.
‘What? Oh its’ nothing.’ He looked down at his hand and felt the throbbing in it, but ignored it. Khushi was more important than his wounded hand.
‘Nothing? How can you say its’ nothing?!’ her voice raised to an octave. ‘Arnav ji, your hand is bleeding. Your office is a mess, there is blood and broken glass all over the place and you are telling me its’ nothing! What on earth happened in here?’ she knew full and well what had taken place, but something in Arnav’s eyes made her feign ignorance. She didn’t know what it was, but there had been such panic in them as soon as they had set sight upon her that it made her not want to tell him that she had witnessed it all, or most of it anyway. She now gave him the chance to relate it. ‘Ugh, come here.’ She yanked at his left arm and guided him to one of the two guest chairs in the office, making him sit in one. ‘Where is the first aid box?’
‘Khushi, its no-‘ Arnav started to say as he pulled his bleeding hand out of hers’.
But she grasped onto his wrist and pulled it back. ‘Shush. Its’ not nothing. Now tell me, where is the first aid box?’ he gestured towards a shelf behind his desk. She let go of his hand, retrieved the box and came back. As she began cleaning the wound with anti-sceptic, she asked between her soft blows on his skin, how it all happened.
‘You mean…you mean you don’t know?’ Arnav asked unsure.
‘If I did, would I be asking?’ she related without looking up, for now she was carefully placing a wad of cotton on top of his cut.
‘No…no you wouldn’t.’ Arnav reasoned, although confused as to how she could have possibly missed the whole fight, she had entered moments after the scoundrel had departed, oblivious as she often could be even she couldn’t have possibly missed him. And yet, by some miracle she had. It made no sense.
‘Well… will you tell me?’ she taped the bandage, put the roll of cotton, bandage and antiseptic cream back inside the box. Closed the box. Then looked up at him as she crossed her arms and waited.
‘Hunh? Oh…uh…yeah…umm…a…a rat-‘ that was the first thing that came into his mind.
‘A rat?’ she arched her eyebrows in question.
‘Yeah. A rat. The little scoundrel got in here undetected and wrecked havoc in here as you can see.’ He gestured towards his disheveled office, as he gave a rather lose interpretation of the events that had taken place in his office.
‘A rat.’ She repeated again. He wasn’t going to tell her the truth. Weirdly, it did not bother her. She wasn’t entirely sure why she didn’t tell him that she knew or why he chose to conceal his role behind Shyam’s current predicament: it again had something to do with his eyes, which now showed relief at the thought of her not having seen Shyam and that relief washed over her making her want it to stay there. She dropped are arms, signifying that she believed his story and leaned ever so slightly closer. After all he didn’t exactly lie to her, a rat indeed had entered his office and wrecked havoc, only it had not been the little grey creature that scurried on four tiny legs, but rather the human version which was far worse than the original. ‘Did you get him?’
‘What?’ Arnav stared, baffled.
‘The rat.’ Khushi reminded.
‘Oh yeah. Uh…no. But he’s injured he won’t be coming back, not anytime soon.’ Arnav carried on his metaphor.
‘Oh I don’t doubt it. Any rat that survived your wrath, would never wish to ever endure it again.’ she winked as she got up to put the first aid box back where it belonged, making his heart flutter. There was something in her air today, he couldn’t quite pin it, it soothed him and yet put him at unease. It was weird he couldn’t comprehend what it was. She mystified him yet again.
As she turned to head back to her seat opposite him, her eyes landed on the twin frame which had led Shyam to uncover Arnav’s motive behind his lawsuit. A picture of her. Or rather two pictures of her. Shyam had only seen the one in the right flap, where she was in her green lehenga in Arnav’s arms at the Lucknow fashion show. The other, the one in the left flap, which would have had its back to Shyam’s eye, was a picture of her in her red sari, from her internship days. She was standing centre stage, her hair fanning itself in the background complementing her fair face with the perfect contrast, while her caramel eyes held the brilliant excitement upon having accomplished what not only Arnav but she too had thought she wouldn’t have been able to.
Her breath caught in her throat. She had never seen these photos. Yeah they had been taken, she remembered the flashes of the photographers at both the events, but had never actually seen either of the photos around the office and definitely never in this cabin and she had been in here almost every day since she had been appointed, sometimes twice in one day. Arnav followed her gaze.
‘Oh..uh, I put those photos in here after you took leave for the wedding. Before that I would get to see you every day in person so didn’t need a photo, but when you left…I don’t like not seeing you every day so…’ his voice trailed off, as her eyes welled. He loved her so much and what had she done, humiliated that very love in the most obscene manner. She gulped back the emotion and came down to sit in her chair opposite him, not meeting his eyes, as she began knotting the edges of her dupatta around her fingers.
‘Khushi?’ his hands intertwined with hers’, as they rescued her dupatta. ‘Are you ok?’
She only sniffed in response, unable to give a coherent reply.
‘Khushi…’ he wheeled his chair closer to hers’ and lifted her head with his un-injured hand. His heart gave a violent pang as their eyes met. Her eyes were numb. Again. ‘Khushi. What is the matter? What’s wrong? Tell me? Tell me and I promise I will fix it.’ He cupped her face, as he related his words of reassurance urgently.
She enveloped his hands with hers for a moment and then pulled them away from her face as she wept his name, ‘Arnav ji…’.
‘Yes. Yes. Tell me, what it is. You can tell me anything Khushi.’ He reiterated as he tried to cup her face again, but she pulled away shaking her face.
‘Nooo…don’t.’ she cried.
‘Khushi-‘ he breathed exasperatedly.
‘No Arnav ji, don’t. I don’t deserve it.’ She explained as she got up and moved away from him.
‘What? Khushi-‘ Arnav followed her with his eyes.
‘No Arnav ji. I don’t deserve your love.’
‘What? Khushi that is ridiculous. Yo-‘ he got up and walked over to her, but she only backed away putting her hand between them.
‘It’s true Arnav ji. I don’t. I don’t deserve your love. Not after last night. Not after I made such a spectacle out of it.’ She explained, whilst Arnav stared at her as understanding dawned. She had come here out of guilt for what had taken place in his room.
‘Khushi-‘
‘No. I don’t deserve you. You gave me so much respect. So much love and what did I do? I turned around and trampled all over it like the idiot I am. I am so so sorry. Please believe me when I say this. I really am so sorry.’ She made eye contact with him for the briefest of moments. ‘Please try and understand that I did what I did out of a grave misunderstanding due to my past. Arnav ji because all that happened to me I was so afraid, so insecure-‘
‘Ssh Khushi, I know, you don’t have to-‘ he tried to explain that he understood her well enough, but she didn’t listen, instead carried on in her apology.
‘…That I didn’t believe you. The one man who was truly sincere to me. Who had my back, who I could always count on, I turned around and hurt him. Because I couldn’t trust him. I didn’t know how. But last night, when…when you saved me from myself. When even after I arrived to the wrong conclusions about your desire and decided to throw myself at you in hope that you would stop the wedding charade, for as you know I didn’t believe you to be sincere about it, you respected me. I disgraced not only myself but your love too and you still showered me with respect….I mean when I think of what I did I cannot even look at myself in the mirror. I am so sorry Arnav ji, I-‘
‘Ssh Khushi. You make me sound like a saint, which I am not. And I wasn’t exactly the epitome of a gentleness last night either Khushi. I hurt you, emotionally and physically.’ He pointed to her bandaged wrist.
‘I told you I fell.’ She stated too quickly.
He qirked his brow cutely at her attempt to hide the truth, ‘I found the rest of the broken bangles on the floor next to my door. You lied about falling, that bangle stubbed you when I lashed out at you.’ he stated solemnly.
‘Ugh, Arnav ji, that is not the point. Besides you had every right to get angry with me, I had done such heinous thing and I am truly very sorry for having done what I did. Please believe me Arnav ji. Please.’ She pleaded.
‘Khushi….’ He sighed, ‘I do believe you. But believe you me, you have nothing to apologise for. I know why you did, what you did even before you said it. I’ve told you before Khushi Kumari Gupta, I know you better than you know yourself. So don’t drown in guilt for something very understandable. If I didn’t understand your fear, your worry over betrayal I would have never asked your hand in marriage, instead would have backed away on the first sign of rejection. But I didn’t, did I? I still went forward with the proposal. Because I love you Khushi. And when you love someone you don’t stay hung up on their mistakes, you look past them to see all the reasons why they make you happy. And you make me happy beyond anything I have ever known.’ He smiled as he advanced towards her yet again.
‘No. no. no. Arnav ji, how can you?’ she retreated. ‘How can you just over look my mistake? No not mistake but sin? I wronged you so completely. So wholly. I construed the worst sort of opinion about you, made you feel so horrible about your love for me and you are saying that its’ all ok. That you forgive me for it? No. Its’ not right. I don’t deserve you. Here take this.’ She began tugging at the ring on her finger. Their engagement ring.
‘Khushi, what are you doing? Stop.’ He ordered, as his hands grabbed at hers’, but she pulled away and continued trying to wrench it off.
‘No Aranv ji. I do not deserve you. And I know now you are too honorable a man to shy away from a commitment you have made, but I will not hold you to it. I will release you from this engagement, for you deserve someone much better than me. Someone who believes you.’ She managed to pull the solitaire off and placed it in his open palm as he stared, shocked at it and then her. ‘It’s ok Arnav ji. I will take full blame for our broken engagement, for I am to blame. I will tell all that I broke your heart, which I have done. No one will ever say you were dishonorable.’ She stated sadly and turned to walk away, but she hadn’t even made it past him when her wrist was shackled by his hand.
‘You haven’t broken my heart yet Khushi, but will do if you walk away from this office without this ring on your ring finger.’ He said with his back to her. She turned to look at him as he turned to face her. Then without warning, his hand tugged at her wrist and he reeled her in towards him. Face to face, hand still encircled around her wrist that rested against her lower back, as he pushed her toward the shelves that lined his office wall, pinning them against it. Against the very shelves behind which she had taken refuge not half an hour ago.
‘Khushi Kumari Gupta, you were correct when you said that I am an honourable man and therefore will never shy away from a commitment I have made. So how can you even think I would break this engagement off? Besides you are not just any commitment Khushi, you are my love and I will not let you go so easily or over something like last night. I didn’t love you to leave you Khushi. I loved you to always be with you. Khushi what you are, what you mean to me I don’t think you will ever understand, but that’s ok all you need to understand is that, its’ not you who is lucky to have me, it is me who is lucky to have found you. You are the most precious being to me Khushi and there is nothing you can say or do that will ever make me want to leave you.’
‘But-‘ she opened her mouth in refute; however, he silenced her with his finger.
‘No I heard you. Now its’ your turn to hear me.’ He instructed and she did as she was told. ‘I want you to recall a day in this very office, a floor down, two months ago, when I came to apologise to you for the grave mistake I had made in your character judgment. Do you remember that day, in the dressing room?’ she nodded. ‘You forgave me that day. Even when I did all the things you say you have done, disrespected you and made you feel completely insignificant. So when you can forgive me, why is it so hard for you to believe that I can forgive you too? Is it because of the way I treated you before that incident. If it is then please believe me Khushi I am still deeply ashamed of what I did and put you through. My misjudgment and therefore maltreatment of you is something I will have to live with for the rest of my life, Khushi, I-‘
‘Arnav ji, I have told you its’ ok.’ she pulled his finger away from her lips and broke her silence. ‘I forgave you, you didn’t know, you made assumptions based on what you heard, for you never heard the whole truth and that is why you treated me harshly, I understood that and once you realized the truth you changed. So its’ ok. Besides this isn’t about that, this is about my mistake and how it is completely unforgivable and that is why you should not marry me.’ Khushi recalled him to the matter at hand.
‘Khushi, you do realize you made the same mistake I did. So if you can forgive me for it, then why is it so hard for you accept that I can forgive you too? That actually I have and that no matter what Khushi Kumari Gupta, you will not get rid of me, I am here for staying in your life. So you can keep coming here with different ruses and excuses to call of the wedding but its’ not going to happen.’ Khushi gaped at him, as he beamed at her.
‘But Arnav ji-‘
‘No. No but. Khushi lets’ just leave this to be one of the many things incomprehensible about love. Just the way I will never understand how you forgave me for my crimes against you, I guess it will be indecipherable for you too, to understand why I don’t see you having done anything wrong towards me. Ok?’
‘Arnav ji-‘
‘Ssh. Just agree.’ He gave his wicked half-smile.
‘I…ummm….I guess.’ She finally replied seeing that he was right just the way he still did not understand why she did not hold him accountable for all the things he had said and done to her, she wouldn’t understand his reasons for forgiving her, but just the way she had told him to accept that she had forgiven him she would have to accept the miracle he was bestowing upon her.
‘Good.’ He chirped as he released her from his bodily prison.
As she straightened up, he surprised her by kneeling on the ground and holding up the ring she had thrust into his hand moments ago.
‘Arnav ji?’ she breathed sharply.
‘Khushi Kumari Gupta,’ he smiled at her with his entire face, as though she was the most incredible being in the entire universe. ‘I know you have doubts and many insecurities, which make you think I would fare better without you but what makes you think I do not have the same. I do. We are two sides of the same coin, Khushi, so how can we go our separate ways? Thus, I ask you the question I asked you a month ago: will you do me the incredible honour of being my bride, my partner and my better half for the rest of my life? Will you marry me?’ Khushi felt her breath escape her, as her heart stopped then started pounding at triple speed. She felt light-headed. He was proposing to her. After all that had occurred, he still wanted to marry her?!
‘Khushi I have said it before and I will say it again, you may not understand what you mean to me, but that is ok for I will tell you, today and everyday; whenever you may doubt yourself. You mean the world to me Khushi. You entered my life when I was in such a dark place and you just filled it with light, guiding me to happiness. Happiness I never thought I was entitled for. You have given me a reason to start living my life. You are my voice of reason, my source of happiness and my reason for being. I love you Khushi Kumari Gupta. I love you like I never thought I was capable of. I want your face to be the last I see at night and the first when I wake up. Will you give me that incredible privilege Khushi? Will you marry me, Khushi and be my khushi?’ he asked once more, his heart in his throat as he waited for her answer that would decide their fate.
She stared at him incredulously. Was he for real? After all she had said and done, he still wished to be with her? Not only wished it but thought that it would be a privilege that she would be granting him. He was insane; it was the other way round. Did he not see it? He was her light in the darkness, it was he who had saved her and brought her to sanity. He who had made her believe in love when she had lost faith in the whole emotion. He who had made her truly realize what love was and yet for some reason he thought it was her who had done all this? This was madness. Unreal. But she would be insane to walk away from it, especially now when she knew her heart belonged to his. When she knew why it was only he who brought any sense of safety or harmony when she was distressed. It was because of what he had already told her, but she the fool she was, had not believed him. However, now it was as clear as day, she loved him. And he for some incomprehensible reason loved her more.
He waited, anxiously for her answer, while she continued to give him her bewildered stare. Life, love, happiness was knocking on her door and this time she was going to accept it.
‘Yes.’ She whispered softly, with the faintest hint of a smile. But in the silent office the whisper boomed and echoed off the glass walls; or may be that was the sound of his heart which had exploded at her sweet acceptance. He guided the diamond back up her finger, where it deserved to sit and this time the stone didn’t feel foreign instead it felt like her finger had been incomplete without its warmth, causing her lips to break into her dazzling smile, the one she solely reserved for him.
He felt like the whole office was thrown into a radiant hue by her sweet smile. Or maybe it was all the depiction of his love filled heart and nothing had really changed in the office. He did not know and at that moment he didn’t care. Because Khushi was finally here with him. She had met him half-way on the rocky-path to her heart and embraced him wholly before he could have tripped and hurt himself. Khushi had accepted him. She had accepted his love. She was going to marry him, with all her heart and soul. He advanced to hug her, but out of habit she moved back. He immediately regretted it. So did she.
‘Sorry, I…I got carried away…Khushi-‘ he tried to defuse the tension.
‘No…its’ ok Arnav ji, I understand….I’m not going to take it in the wrong meaning anymore…because Arnav ji, I-‘ but she didn’t get a chance to complete her sentence as at that moment Arnav’s phone rang.
Damnit! He cursed internally. He walked towards the table to turn it off when he saw the display, it was Aman. If he was calling that meant only one thing…as much as he wanted to he could not reject it, for this was important. ’Sorry Khushi, I really have to take this call, it’s important. I am working on the single most important project in my life right now and Aman is calling about an update on it….I cannot, not take it…I really am sorry.’
‘That’s ok Arnav ji. What I have to say can wait. I will see you in Lucknow.’ She said as she walked towards the door.
‘Lucknow?’ Arnav asked confused.
‘Yes, we leave tonight. Six o’clock.’ She reminded him.
‘Oh right. Yes. Totally slipped my mind. I’ll come to the station.’ He stated, as he slid his thumb across the phone to answer the call.
‘No.’ Khushi said making him look up.
‘Hold on, Aman.’ He said into the speaker. ‘No?’ he arched his brow, not understanding why she was telling him not to come to the station when she had just accepted him.
‘Di said you had an important meeting to attend that is why you wouldn’t be at the station.’ Khushi reminded him, ‘Unless that was an excuse for not wanting to see me after last night…’ Khushi added as an after thought.
‘Wha- No. No it wasn’t that.’ He covered the speaker on his phone and rounded the table towards her. ‘Khushi I meant what I said, last night had no impact on my feelings towards you, if anything it made me admire you more. Khushi not many women would do what you had the guts to do just to save your family from public humiliation.’ He traced her cheeks lightly with his thumb.
‘Only there would not have been any public humiliation so in actuality I was just humiliating you.’ she said dismally.
‘Hunh.’ He sighed, ‘Khushi we are not having this argument again. The only reason why I was not going to come to the station was because like you said, I have a very important meeting to attend, in fact that is why Aman is calling. Only seeing you here made me forget that, as I often forget things when I am around you.’ He smiled.
‘Ok.’ She smiled back. She turned to leave as he turned away from the door to take his call.
But as always, she was never one to leave his office without coming back in again to have a last say. She turned from the door and slammed her body against his back, hugging him.
‘Yeah Ama- What the-?’ Arnav who had no inclination of the onslaught now looked down to see her arms encircling him. ‘Khushi?’ he turned, inside her embrace to face her as she looked up. Reddening and moved away, but he caught her before she escaped.
‘No sir. It’s Aman.’ Aman’s voice came from the phone, which Arnav held in his other hand.
‘Yes. Yes Aman I know it’s you. Just hold on.’ He said irritably into the phone, as he moved his thumb to cover the speaker. ‘Khushi?’ he asked again, staring at her disbelievingly. She had just hugged him.
‘I…I just wanted to thank you. That’s all.’ She said shyly not meeting his eyes.
‘Wh- I- Uh- Khu-‘ Arnav let out a series of unintelligible sounds, unsure of what to say or how to react in the situation. He wanted to hug her back. But wasn’t sure whether he should. Then there was Aman still on the phone. Aman the ever romance killer, but at this moment he really did need to talk to Aman and yet he didn’t want Khushi to go either. Ugh, he didn’t know what he wanted. Why did it all have to be so complicated?!
When she finally met his eyes, she smiled seeing his confusion. She wrapped her hand around his hand that still held her arm and unwrapped it from her arm, releasing her from his grip. ‘It’s ok Arnav ji. Talk to Aman ji, it’s important. I know. We will meet in Lucknow and then, I will be all yours.’ She blushed and left, but not before she had given him another one of her charming smiles.
‘Sir? Sir? Are you still there?’ Aman’s voice broke the spell Khushi had left him in.
‘Yes I’m still here.’ He related annoyed, and then quickly channeled the businessman within him. He needed to have all this resolved before he went to Lucknow and married Khushi. The hearing for Shyam’s case was in two days, everything needed to go smoothly so that when Khushi and he were finally married Shyam would be rotting in prison for his crimes against her, her family and countless other women. He had promised himself that he would have Shyam removed from society before they were married and so the next few days were crucial into seeing that plan reached his desired conclusion.
‘Are the witnesses safely in their rooms? No one should know where they are…he is a sneaky son-of-a-gun and while he has no friends he has contacts and a reputation of getting to witnesses before the case, I don’t want him to get to them and ruin our case…he cannot get acquitted…he needs to pay for his crimes…’ Arnav muttered away in his phone unaware Khushi could still hear him: his voice wafted through the vacant office, as she descended the stairs. She had seen and heard enough of his conversation with Shyam to decipher that the single most important project he was referring to was him avenging her. Her emotions overflowed in her heart and she wanted nothing but to turn back and run into his arms to thank him again for what he was doing for her. He was fighting a harassment case (along with others) but was keeping her name out of it; he had found others Shyam had preyed upon and had given them the backing and courage to fight against him. Thereby avenging her but keeping her name clear from all of it, in order to support all her efforts in keeping all that had occurred between her and Shyam mum. Thus she refrained from turning back, because if she did then that would spoil his efforts of keeping this from her, she wasn’t absolutely sure why he didn’t want her to know about his one-man crusade against Shyam but she found that she didn’t care anymore, instead she wanted to respect it, so silently she walked out of the office, keeping his secret a secret, even between them.
The sound of something breaking from within the cabin jolted Khushi out of her shock at witnessing the intense argument followed by the stupefying fight that took place between Arnav and Shyam. Her ghostly white frame was still in a crouch outside Arnav’s office, minutes after Shyam had sauntered away cowardly; digesting the incomprehensible truth: Arnav was behind Shyam’s comeuppance. In hindsight it made sense, only he would have construed such an elaborate scheme that would bring Shyam down to his knees, but as always she had never thought he would do that. Just the way she had never believed him capable of love, only to learn that his love was deeper than the ocean of guilt she found herself drowning in.
‘Surinder why the hell have I appointed you as guard, if you cannot keep unwanted people out of this office….make sure that asshole never crosses this threshold ever again!!’ Arnav’s slammed the receiver of his intercom on the desk, making Khushi start. She wrenched her white hand away from the hinge of the door, where she had gripped it to give her support during the fight and shakily got to her feet. Her quivering frame entered the office just as Arnav pivoted around to find something else to punch his fist in, the shattered ashtray (kept for delegates) on the ground next to his feet, the source of the earlier crash, had not been enough to vent out his anger upon seeing Shyam but not managing to giving him the beating he deserved. However, as he turned away from the table and towards his door, his eyes landed on his new, pale visitor and his anger instantly dispelled as shock then tension replaced it. When had Khushi come? Had she seen Shyam? Oh god he hoped she had not. He had worked so hard to keep this all from her just to make sure she never had to cross paths with Shyam ever again, only she might have now. What had she heard? What was she thinking? God she looked sickly. She must have witnessed something. Oh god why was he always so oblivious when it came to her, always hurting her when he set out do something good for her.
‘Khu- Khu- Khushi. Wha- uh…I mean when did you get here?’ Arnav crunched his way on top of the glass towards her. She flinched at the sound as her eyes widened, as they focused on the trail of maroon that flowed in his wake. He was bleeding.
‘You’re bleeding Arnav ji.’ She cried out hoarsely, pointing to his right hand that was now creating a pool of red next to his feet inches away from hers’.
‘What? Oh its’ nothing.’ He looked down at his hand and felt the throbbing in it, but ignored it. Khushi was more important than his wounded hand.
‘Nothing? How can you say its’ nothing?!’ her voice raised to an octave. ‘Arnav ji, your hand is bleeding. Your office is a mess, there is blood and broken glass all over the place and you are telling me its’ nothing! What on earth happened in here?’ she knew full and well what had taken place, but something in Arnav’s eyes made her feign ignorance. She didn’t know what it was, but there had been such panic in them as soon as they had set sight upon her that it made her not want to tell him that she had witnessed it all, or most of it anyway. She now gave him the chance to relate it. ‘Ugh, come here.’ She yanked at his left arm and guided him to one of the two guest chairs in the office, making him sit in one. ‘Where is the first aid box?’
‘Khushi, its no-‘ Arnav started to say as he pulled his bleeding hand out of hers’.
But she grasped onto his wrist and pulled it back. ‘Shush. Its’ not nothing. Now tell me, where is the first aid box?’ he gestured towards a shelf behind his desk. She let go of his hand, retrieved the box and came back. As she began cleaning the wound with anti-sceptic, she asked between her soft blows on his skin, how it all happened.
‘You mean…you mean you don’t know?’ Arnav asked unsure.
‘If I did, would I be asking?’ she related without looking up, for now she was carefully placing a wad of cotton on top of his cut.
‘No…no you wouldn’t.’ Arnav reasoned, although confused as to how she could have possibly missed the whole fight, she had entered moments after the scoundrel had departed, oblivious as she often could be even she couldn’t have possibly missed him. And yet, by some miracle she had. It made no sense.
‘Well… will you tell me?’ she taped the bandage, put the roll of cotton, bandage and antiseptic cream back inside the box. Closed the box. Then looked up at him as she crossed her arms and waited.
‘Hunh? Oh…uh…yeah…umm…a…a rat-‘ that was the first thing that came into his mind.
‘A rat?’ she arched her eyebrows in question.
‘Yeah. A rat. The little scoundrel got in here undetected and wrecked havoc in here as you can see.’ He gestured towards his disheveled office, as he gave a rather lose interpretation of the events that had taken place in his office.
‘A rat.’ She repeated again. He wasn’t going to tell her the truth. Weirdly, it did not bother her. She wasn’t entirely sure why she didn’t tell him that she knew or why he chose to conceal his role behind Shyam’s current predicament: it again had something to do with his eyes, which now showed relief at the thought of her not having seen Shyam and that relief washed over her making her want it to stay there. She dropped are arms, signifying that she believed his story and leaned ever so slightly closer. After all he didn’t exactly lie to her, a rat indeed had entered his office and wrecked havoc, only it had not been the little grey creature that scurried on four tiny legs, but rather the human version which was far worse than the original. ‘Did you get him?’
‘What?’ Arnav stared, baffled.
‘The rat.’ Khushi reminded.
‘Oh yeah. Uh…no. But he’s injured he won’t be coming back, not anytime soon.’ Arnav carried on his metaphor.
‘Oh I don’t doubt it. Any rat that survived your wrath, would never wish to ever endure it again.’ she winked as she got up to put the first aid box back where it belonged, making his heart flutter. There was something in her air today, he couldn’t quite pin it, it soothed him and yet put him at unease. It was weird he couldn’t comprehend what it was. She mystified him yet again.
As she turned to head back to her seat opposite him, her eyes landed on the twin frame which had led Shyam to uncover Arnav’s motive behind his lawsuit. A picture of her. Or rather two pictures of her. Shyam had only seen the one in the right flap, where she was in her green lehenga in Arnav’s arms at the Lucknow fashion show. The other, the one in the left flap, which would have had its back to Shyam’s eye, was a picture of her in her red sari, from her internship days. She was standing centre stage, her hair fanning itself in the background complementing her fair face with the perfect contrast, while her caramel eyes held the brilliant excitement upon having accomplished what not only Arnav but she too had thought she wouldn’t have been able to.
Her breath caught in her throat. She had never seen these photos. Yeah they had been taken, she remembered the flashes of the photographers at both the events, but had never actually seen either of the photos around the office and definitely never in this cabin and she had been in here almost every day since she had been appointed, sometimes twice in one day. Arnav followed her gaze.
‘Oh..uh, I put those photos in here after you took leave for the wedding. Before that I would get to see you every day in person so didn’t need a photo, but when you left…I don’t like not seeing you every day so…’ his voice trailed off, as her eyes welled. He loved her so much and what had she done, humiliated that very love in the most obscene manner. She gulped back the emotion and came down to sit in her chair opposite him, not meeting his eyes, as she began knotting the edges of her dupatta around her fingers.
‘Khushi?’ his hands intertwined with hers’, as they rescued her dupatta. ‘Are you ok?’
She only sniffed in response, unable to give a coherent reply.
‘Khushi…’ he wheeled his chair closer to hers’ and lifted her head with his un-injured hand. His heart gave a violent pang as their eyes met. Her eyes were numb. Again. ‘Khushi. What is the matter? What’s wrong? Tell me? Tell me and I promise I will fix it.’ He cupped her face, as he related his words of reassurance urgently.
She enveloped his hands with hers for a moment and then pulled them away from her face as she wept his name, ‘Arnav ji…’.
‘Yes. Yes. Tell me, what it is. You can tell me anything Khushi.’ He reiterated as he tried to cup her face again, but she pulled away shaking her face.
‘Nooo…don’t.’ she cried.
‘Khushi-‘ he breathed exasperatedly.
‘No Arnav ji, don’t. I don’t deserve it.’ She explained as she got up and moved away from him.
‘What? Khushi-‘ Arnav followed her with his eyes.
‘No Arnav ji. I don’t deserve your love.’
‘What? Khushi that is ridiculous. Yo-‘ he got up and walked over to her, but she only backed away putting her hand between them.
‘It’s true Arnav ji. I don’t. I don’t deserve your love. Not after last night. Not after I made such a spectacle out of it.’ She explained, whilst Arnav stared at her as understanding dawned. She had come here out of guilt for what had taken place in his room.
‘Khushi-‘
‘No. I don’t deserve you. You gave me so much respect. So much love and what did I do? I turned around and trampled all over it like the idiot I am. I am so so sorry. Please believe me when I say this. I really am so sorry.’ She made eye contact with him for the briefest of moments. ‘Please try and understand that I did what I did out of a grave misunderstanding due to my past. Arnav ji because all that happened to me I was so afraid, so insecure-‘
‘Ssh Khushi, I know, you don’t have to-‘ he tried to explain that he understood her well enough, but she didn’t listen, instead carried on in her apology.
‘…That I didn’t believe you. The one man who was truly sincere to me. Who had my back, who I could always count on, I turned around and hurt him. Because I couldn’t trust him. I didn’t know how. But last night, when…when you saved me from myself. When even after I arrived to the wrong conclusions about your desire and decided to throw myself at you in hope that you would stop the wedding charade, for as you know I didn’t believe you to be sincere about it, you respected me. I disgraced not only myself but your love too and you still showered me with respect….I mean when I think of what I did I cannot even look at myself in the mirror. I am so sorry Arnav ji, I-‘
‘Ssh Khushi. You make me sound like a saint, which I am not. And I wasn’t exactly the epitome of a gentleness last night either Khushi. I hurt you, emotionally and physically.’ He pointed to her bandaged wrist.
‘I told you I fell.’ She stated too quickly.
He qirked his brow cutely at her attempt to hide the truth, ‘I found the rest of the broken bangles on the floor next to my door. You lied about falling, that bangle stubbed you when I lashed out at you.’ he stated solemnly.
‘Ugh, Arnav ji, that is not the point. Besides you had every right to get angry with me, I had done such heinous thing and I am truly very sorry for having done what I did. Please believe me Arnav ji. Please.’ She pleaded.
‘Khushi….’ He sighed, ‘I do believe you. But believe you me, you have nothing to apologise for. I know why you did, what you did even before you said it. I’ve told you before Khushi Kumari Gupta, I know you better than you know yourself. So don’t drown in guilt for something very understandable. If I didn’t understand your fear, your worry over betrayal I would have never asked your hand in marriage, instead would have backed away on the first sign of rejection. But I didn’t, did I? I still went forward with the proposal. Because I love you Khushi. And when you love someone you don’t stay hung up on their mistakes, you look past them to see all the reasons why they make you happy. And you make me happy beyond anything I have ever known.’ He smiled as he advanced towards her yet again.
‘No. no. no. Arnav ji, how can you?’ she retreated. ‘How can you just over look my mistake? No not mistake but sin? I wronged you so completely. So wholly. I construed the worst sort of opinion about you, made you feel so horrible about your love for me and you are saying that its’ all ok. That you forgive me for it? No. Its’ not right. I don’t deserve you. Here take this.’ She began tugging at the ring on her finger. Their engagement ring.
‘Khushi, what are you doing? Stop.’ He ordered, as his hands grabbed at hers’, but she pulled away and continued trying to wrench it off.
‘No Aranv ji. I do not deserve you. And I know now you are too honorable a man to shy away from a commitment you have made, but I will not hold you to it. I will release you from this engagement, for you deserve someone much better than me. Someone who believes you.’ She managed to pull the solitaire off and placed it in his open palm as he stared, shocked at it and then her. ‘It’s ok Arnav ji. I will take full blame for our broken engagement, for I am to blame. I will tell all that I broke your heart, which I have done. No one will ever say you were dishonorable.’ She stated sadly and turned to walk away, but she hadn’t even made it past him when her wrist was shackled by his hand.
‘You haven’t broken my heart yet Khushi, but will do if you walk away from this office without this ring on your ring finger.’ He said with his back to her. She turned to look at him as he turned to face her. Then without warning, his hand tugged at her wrist and he reeled her in towards him. Face to face, hand still encircled around her wrist that rested against her lower back, as he pushed her toward the shelves that lined his office wall, pinning them against it. Against the very shelves behind which she had taken refuge not half an hour ago.
‘Khushi Kumari Gupta, you were correct when you said that I am an honourable man and therefore will never shy away from a commitment I have made. So how can you even think I would break this engagement off? Besides you are not just any commitment Khushi, you are my love and I will not let you go so easily or over something like last night. I didn’t love you to leave you Khushi. I loved you to always be with you. Khushi what you are, what you mean to me I don’t think you will ever understand, but that’s ok all you need to understand is that, its’ not you who is lucky to have me, it is me who is lucky to have found you. You are the most precious being to me Khushi and there is nothing you can say or do that will ever make me want to leave you.’
‘But-‘ she opened her mouth in refute; however, he silenced her with his finger.
‘No I heard you. Now its’ your turn to hear me.’ He instructed and she did as she was told. ‘I want you to recall a day in this very office, a floor down, two months ago, when I came to apologise to you for the grave mistake I had made in your character judgment. Do you remember that day, in the dressing room?’ she nodded. ‘You forgave me that day. Even when I did all the things you say you have done, disrespected you and made you feel completely insignificant. So when you can forgive me, why is it so hard for you to believe that I can forgive you too? Is it because of the way I treated you before that incident. If it is then please believe me Khushi I am still deeply ashamed of what I did and put you through. My misjudgment and therefore maltreatment of you is something I will have to live with for the rest of my life, Khushi, I-‘
‘Arnav ji, I have told you its’ ok.’ she pulled his finger away from her lips and broke her silence. ‘I forgave you, you didn’t know, you made assumptions based on what you heard, for you never heard the whole truth and that is why you treated me harshly, I understood that and once you realized the truth you changed. So its’ ok. Besides this isn’t about that, this is about my mistake and how it is completely unforgivable and that is why you should not marry me.’ Khushi recalled him to the matter at hand.
‘Khushi, you do realize you made the same mistake I did. So if you can forgive me for it, then why is it so hard for you accept that I can forgive you too? That actually I have and that no matter what Khushi Kumari Gupta, you will not get rid of me, I am here for staying in your life. So you can keep coming here with different ruses and excuses to call of the wedding but its’ not going to happen.’ Khushi gaped at him, as he beamed at her.
‘But Arnav ji-‘
‘No. No but. Khushi lets’ just leave this to be one of the many things incomprehensible about love. Just the way I will never understand how you forgave me for my crimes against you, I guess it will be indecipherable for you too, to understand why I don’t see you having done anything wrong towards me. Ok?’
‘Arnav ji-‘
‘Ssh. Just agree.’ He gave his wicked half-smile.
‘I…ummm….I guess.’ She finally replied seeing that he was right just the way he still did not understand why she did not hold him accountable for all the things he had said and done to her, she wouldn’t understand his reasons for forgiving her, but just the way she had told him to accept that she had forgiven him she would have to accept the miracle he was bestowing upon her.
‘Good.’ He chirped as he released her from his bodily prison.
As she straightened up, he surprised her by kneeling on the ground and holding up the ring she had thrust into his hand moments ago.
‘Arnav ji?’ she breathed sharply.
‘Khushi Kumari Gupta,’ he smiled at her with his entire face, as though she was the most incredible being in the entire universe. ‘I know you have doubts and many insecurities, which make you think I would fare better without you but what makes you think I do not have the same. I do. We are two sides of the same coin, Khushi, so how can we go our separate ways? Thus, I ask you the question I asked you a month ago: will you do me the incredible honour of being my bride, my partner and my better half for the rest of my life? Will you marry me?’ Khushi felt her breath escape her, as her heart stopped then started pounding at triple speed. She felt light-headed. He was proposing to her. After all that had occurred, he still wanted to marry her?!
‘Khushi I have said it before and I will say it again, you may not understand what you mean to me, but that is ok for I will tell you, today and everyday; whenever you may doubt yourself. You mean the world to me Khushi. You entered my life when I was in such a dark place and you just filled it with light, guiding me to happiness. Happiness I never thought I was entitled for. You have given me a reason to start living my life. You are my voice of reason, my source of happiness and my reason for being. I love you Khushi Kumari Gupta. I love you like I never thought I was capable of. I want your face to be the last I see at night and the first when I wake up. Will you give me that incredible privilege Khushi? Will you marry me, Khushi and be my khushi?’ he asked once more, his heart in his throat as he waited for her answer that would decide their fate.
She stared at him incredulously. Was he for real? After all she had said and done, he still wished to be with her? Not only wished it but thought that it would be a privilege that she would be granting him. He was insane; it was the other way round. Did he not see it? He was her light in the darkness, it was he who had saved her and brought her to sanity. He who had made her believe in love when she had lost faith in the whole emotion. He who had made her truly realize what love was and yet for some reason he thought it was her who had done all this? This was madness. Unreal. But she would be insane to walk away from it, especially now when she knew her heart belonged to his. When she knew why it was only he who brought any sense of safety or harmony when she was distressed. It was because of what he had already told her, but she the fool she was, had not believed him. However, now it was as clear as day, she loved him. And he for some incomprehensible reason loved her more.
He waited, anxiously for her answer, while she continued to give him her bewildered stare. Life, love, happiness was knocking on her door and this time she was going to accept it.
‘Yes.’ She whispered softly, with the faintest hint of a smile. But in the silent office the whisper boomed and echoed off the glass walls; or may be that was the sound of his heart which had exploded at her sweet acceptance. He guided the diamond back up her finger, where it deserved to sit and this time the stone didn’t feel foreign instead it felt like her finger had been incomplete without its warmth, causing her lips to break into her dazzling smile, the one she solely reserved for him.
He felt like the whole office was thrown into a radiant hue by her sweet smile. Or maybe it was all the depiction of his love filled heart and nothing had really changed in the office. He did not know and at that moment he didn’t care. Because Khushi was finally here with him. She had met him half-way on the rocky-path to her heart and embraced him wholly before he could have tripped and hurt himself. Khushi had accepted him. She had accepted his love. She was going to marry him, with all her heart and soul. He advanced to hug her, but out of habit she moved back. He immediately regretted it. So did she.
‘Sorry, I…I got carried away…Khushi-‘ he tried to defuse the tension.
‘No…its’ ok Arnav ji, I understand….I’m not going to take it in the wrong meaning anymore…because Arnav ji, I-‘ but she didn’t get a chance to complete her sentence as at that moment Arnav’s phone rang.
Damnit! He cursed internally. He walked towards the table to turn it off when he saw the display, it was Aman. If he was calling that meant only one thing…as much as he wanted to he could not reject it, for this was important. ’Sorry Khushi, I really have to take this call, it’s important. I am working on the single most important project in my life right now and Aman is calling about an update on it….I cannot, not take it…I really am sorry.’
‘That’s ok Arnav ji. What I have to say can wait. I will see you in Lucknow.’ She said as she walked towards the door.
‘Lucknow?’ Arnav asked confused.
‘Yes, we leave tonight. Six o’clock.’ She reminded him.
‘Oh right. Yes. Totally slipped my mind. I’ll come to the station.’ He stated, as he slid his thumb across the phone to answer the call.
‘No.’ Khushi said making him look up.
‘Hold on, Aman.’ He said into the speaker. ‘No?’ he arched his brow, not understanding why she was telling him not to come to the station when she had just accepted him.
‘Di said you had an important meeting to attend that is why you wouldn’t be at the station.’ Khushi reminded him, ‘Unless that was an excuse for not wanting to see me after last night…’ Khushi added as an after thought.
‘Wha- No. No it wasn’t that.’ He covered the speaker on his phone and rounded the table towards her. ‘Khushi I meant what I said, last night had no impact on my feelings towards you, if anything it made me admire you more. Khushi not many women would do what you had the guts to do just to save your family from public humiliation.’ He traced her cheeks lightly with his thumb.
‘Only there would not have been any public humiliation so in actuality I was just humiliating you.’ she said dismally.
‘Hunh.’ He sighed, ‘Khushi we are not having this argument again. The only reason why I was not going to come to the station was because like you said, I have a very important meeting to attend, in fact that is why Aman is calling. Only seeing you here made me forget that, as I often forget things when I am around you.’ He smiled.
‘Ok.’ She smiled back. She turned to leave as he turned away from the door to take his call.
But as always, she was never one to leave his office without coming back in again to have a last say. She turned from the door and slammed her body against his back, hugging him.
‘Yeah Ama- What the-?’ Arnav who had no inclination of the onslaught now looked down to see her arms encircling him. ‘Khushi?’ he turned, inside her embrace to face her as she looked up. Reddening and moved away, but he caught her before she escaped.
‘No sir. It’s Aman.’ Aman’s voice came from the phone, which Arnav held in his other hand.
‘Yes. Yes Aman I know it’s you. Just hold on.’ He said irritably into the phone, as he moved his thumb to cover the speaker. ‘Khushi?’ he asked again, staring at her disbelievingly. She had just hugged him.
‘I…I just wanted to thank you. That’s all.’ She said shyly not meeting his eyes.
‘Wh- I- Uh- Khu-‘ Arnav let out a series of unintelligible sounds, unsure of what to say or how to react in the situation. He wanted to hug her back. But wasn’t sure whether he should. Then there was Aman still on the phone. Aman the ever romance killer, but at this moment he really did need to talk to Aman and yet he didn’t want Khushi to go either. Ugh, he didn’t know what he wanted. Why did it all have to be so complicated?!
When she finally met his eyes, she smiled seeing his confusion. She wrapped her hand around his hand that still held her arm and unwrapped it from her arm, releasing her from his grip. ‘It’s ok Arnav ji. Talk to Aman ji, it’s important. I know. We will meet in Lucknow and then, I will be all yours.’ She blushed and left, but not before she had given him another one of her charming smiles.
‘Sir? Sir? Are you still there?’ Aman’s voice broke the spell Khushi had left him in.
‘Yes I’m still here.’ He related annoyed, and then quickly channeled the businessman within him. He needed to have all this resolved before he went to Lucknow and married Khushi. The hearing for Shyam’s case was in two days, everything needed to go smoothly so that when Khushi and he were finally married Shyam would be rotting in prison for his crimes against her, her family and countless other women. He had promised himself that he would have Shyam removed from society before they were married and so the next few days were crucial into seeing that plan reached his desired conclusion.
‘Are the witnesses safely in their rooms? No one should know where they are…he is a sneaky son-of-a-gun and while he has no friends he has contacts and a reputation of getting to witnesses before the case, I don’t want him to get to them and ruin our case…he cannot get acquitted…he needs to pay for his crimes…’ Arnav muttered away in his phone unaware Khushi could still hear him: his voice wafted through the vacant office, as she descended the stairs. She had seen and heard enough of his conversation with Shyam to decipher that the single most important project he was referring to was him avenging her. Her emotions overflowed in her heart and she wanted nothing but to turn back and run into his arms to thank him again for what he was doing for her. He was fighting a harassment case (along with others) but was keeping her name out of it; he had found others Shyam had preyed upon and had given them the backing and courage to fight against him. Thereby avenging her but keeping her name clear from all of it, in order to support all her efforts in keeping all that had occurred between her and Shyam mum. Thus she refrained from turning back, because if she did then that would spoil his efforts of keeping this from her, she wasn’t absolutely sure why he didn’t want her to know about his one-man crusade against Shyam but she found that she didn’t care anymore, instead she wanted to respect it, so silently she walked out of the office, keeping his secret a secret, even between them.
*****