When he got back from his morning jog the next day he found Khushi and Anjali deep in conversation on the sofa. Before he edged closer to listen in on what they were talking about he watched the two from an amiable distance. It seemed so natural, the two sitting there chatting, if only all his mornings could start this way. His two most precious people in the world sitting there in front of him lost in some discussion, perhaps about him, both did like to fret over him, he knew that too well. But alas he didn't think that possible, for even though he had finally understood what it was he felt for Khushi the previous night, he didn't see her being in his life. Not because he didn't want her to, but he didn't think it right. In his eyes it would be betrayal towards two women he gravely cared for: Lavanya and his Mother. He had already betrayed the first by falling for Khushi and thereby making her final statement to him, about him not being in love with her, come true, he now could not betray his mother by marrying a homewrecker, she may not be the one who ruined his mother's, and thereby his, home but she was just like the one who had and therefore it would be an insult to his mother if he pursued her.
However, after coming to this resolve he had formed another one too: the one he had begun working on even before he had admitted to himself the true reasons around his concern for Khushi. This was that while he would not pursue her he would also not let her go. That is, just because he could not have her didn't mean he would let her out of his life. He was going to make sure that she stayed in Delhi, near him always where he could at least see her, speak to her, have her presence in his life, for he knew that he could deny himself her hand but he would not be able bear a separation. The very thought of not seeing her made him restless, thus he knew that no matter what happened he would always make sure that Khushi would remain a part of his life, be it only as a designer at LaANK or a pay-in-guest at his house, he could not and would not let her out his life, he would use whatever means possible to ensure that she remained near him, just the way he had done at NHC, where he had gotten her father admitted.
His mind full of these thoughts he finally proceeded in to the lounge and came into hearing distance of their conversation. Someone, possibly Anjali herself, had informed Khushi about the occurrence of the night before and thus she was consoling Anjali regarding it.
'Di, I understand, believe me I do. I know its' not easy to just let go of someone you deeply cared for or trusted, someone you gave your love too. So I understand your heartbreak over his death, but Di, that man doesn't deserve your grief, you owe him nothing. So I would advise you against going over to his place, it will do nothing but hurt you to see him and his family. Di if they cared about you they would have called not just today but in the last year after their son left you, but they didn't. They didn't stop and think for once what their son did to you, if they cared even the slightest for you they would have cut ties with their son and supported you. But they turned their backs on you. So why go there Di, it will only hurt you. You tell me how I should move on, forget Shyam, how he doesn't deserve my love, then why don't you do the same. Di, I know you can't chose who you love, it just happens, but you can chose to be with that person or not. If one is lucky that person deserves their love and you can be with them, but if you're unfortunate in the person you fall for then you have to take the awful decision and turn away from them to spare your heart. That's not selfish, its' the right thing to do. Sometimes...sometimes just because you love someone it doesn't mean that you should be with them too. In our case Di, we have to take heed of those words. Neither Shyam nor Chetan ji deserves our love and so you owe him nothing in life or death.
'So I say you shouldn't go to attend that man's last rights puja. He doesn't deserve your presence there. He is lucky enough that you mourned him: that you forgave him. That is your generosity, for he does not deserve it, he did not even regret leaving you Di, so in my opinion you should not have even forgiven him. But alas your forgiveness is your's to give and you giving it is your goodness, none of his. But that's all Di that was the only thing tying you to him, your forgiveness, which you have given, now you don't need to do anything else for that man.'
'Well said bitya.' Nani commended, before Arnav could have echoed the same sentiment. He had no idea Anjali had been intending on joining in the last right ceremony of that man, if he had he too would have stopped her. Although he may not have been able to say it as well as Khushi had said. For he could see Anjali taking in every word she spoke and understanding that she owed that man nothing. If it had been to Arnav it would have merely been an order which she would have abided but would not have realized it was for her own good. 'She's right Anjali bitya. You need not go there, it will only trouble you. His family would only taunt you for coming instead of being grateful. Don't go.'
'They're right Di, you don't need to go.' Arnav now voiced his opinion too, making them all start up as they had not noticed him come in.
'Chotay! When did you come?' Anjali asked in a pitch higher than usual. She had not wanted Arnav to know about her deliberating to go as she knew what his answer would be, but moreso that he would be angry at Chetan for making her think about going there.
'Just when you were discussing what you didn't want me to hear.' Arnav replied, not even pretending to not know why Anjali had chosen to discuss this while he had been out on his jog.
'Chotay, I...' Anjali went red out of unease. He walked around the coffee table between them and came to kneel in between her and Khushi.
'Di. You don't have to feel mortified just because I found out. I'm not angry at you for hiding it, I know why you did, my views about that man is not hidden from anyone. In fact, Di I'm sorry that my views about him made you feel as though you couldn't share something with me. Di please now that you can always share anything with me, I'll hear you, always.'
'Chotay...No...please you don't be sorry. I'm sorry Chotay, for making you think...in fact I wish to apologise to all of you, for troubling you, for something so silly. You're all right of course. Of course I needn't go there, why should I? To tell you the truth I think I knew that all along too, but just needed someone to remind me: that I owe that man nothing. So thank you. Thank you all of you.' with that she hugged both Arnav and Khushi, as they were sitting next to her, whereas Nani was on the couch perpendicular to them. Her embrace brought Arnav and Khushi into an awkward embrace too. Where they both felt their heartbeats elevate at the proximity but didn't know what to do, as breaking the hug would be offensive towards Anjali who was showing her appreciation to them and staying init meant being close to the other, when both had vowed for different reasons to be as far away from the other as possible. Arnav as he didn't trust himself in her close proximity and Khushi, who after Nainital, had promised to never let him come more than an arms distance near her, as she had no interest in hearing more about her "loose character" from to him. She may have forgiven his jumping to conclusions regarding her, but she had not forgotten. It hurt that he thought so lowly of her. She didn't know why his opinion of herself mattered so much, all she knew was that he saw her as a moraless person and that hurt. It was as though a shard of glass was lodged in between her shoulder blades, directly behind her heart, where she could feel it stab her heart with every breath she took but could not position her hands correctly to pull it out and stop the pain it brought.
Anjali finaly broke out of the hug and the two leaped away from the other. Khushi jumped to the edge of the sofa, while Arnav sprung up.
'Uh...I'm going to go shower...' he explained, after Anjali shot him a questioning glance for his sudden manoeuvre. 'Ummm...tell HP to bring my tea in the room.' He added as an afterthought as he walked towards his room. He was gone so fast that he didn't get a chance to hear that Hari Prakash wasn't even home, hence, twenty minutes later it came as a shock to him to find Khushi in his room with his morning tea.
'What the-?!! Khushi Kumari Gupta what are you doing here?!!' he asked in a strained voice.
But she couldn't reply as her vocal chords were paralysed due to the shock of finding him in merely a towel. He followed her wide-eyed gaze and realized why her face had gone white and hands were trembling, causing his tea to spill everywhere. Sh*t. He cursed under his breath. Today out of all days he had not taken his clothes into the bathroom with him. Courtesy of Khushi, as his head had been full of her thoughts, or rather her scent, while he had been so close to her during the hug that he had walked in to the ensuite without even taking his clothes out.
He turned around, as did she, finally realizing gaping at him wouldn't get rid of the image of his wet and finely toned abs out of sight. Once he was facing the wall, it occurred to him that just because he could no longer see her, didn't meant that she couldn't either, for he had no idea whether she was still looking his way or not, thus he jumped next to his cupboard that would block him from anyone's vision, while he had a full view of the room and therefore Khushi, or rather her back.
'Uuhhh...I...I...I j-just came to give yo-you ss-ome tea. Ha-Hari Prakash ji has gone t-to get some th-things for the mandirr.' She stammered facing towards the door. Then began backing towards his coffee table, first hit it, causing the already clattering cup and saucer to clutter yet again due to the hit, then finally placed it on the table with shaky hands, all the while with her face towards the door. Once she had placed it on the table she rushed towards the door, she was nearly out of the room, when suddenly remembering something she entered again. This time with her hands on her eyes, as she came in with her face towards him. 'I...Uh...I also wanted to thank you...for what you did for my Bauji. Yesterday, I was too angry to realize that I should be thanking you for getting him into NHC, so thank you.' With that she turned to leave again, only to stop and turn back round as an after thought occurred to her, 'But that doesn't mean that I agree to let you pay for the treatment, I'm still going to be paying, that is, you will be cutting a part of my salary so that I can pay back the fee, understand?' she re-asserted, then, 'understand?' she asked again when she got no response.
'A-Arnav ji...' she voiced and then forced herself to take a peak. She uncovered one eye, to find the room empty. Confused and shocked she uncovered both eyes and called out his name again as she began venturing into the room, trying to figure out where he had disappeared to and whether he had heard anything she had said or not.
'Stop right there Khushi Kumari Gupta.' He ordered when she was dangerously close to the edge of the wardrobe, 'I heard you, now can you please go, or do you have anything else that needs to be said at this precise moment while I'm standing here soaked and naked?'
'Uh...no. No. Soorrry. I...I just..' she stuttered out, frozen to the spot next to the cupboard.
'Leave Khushi.' He said through gritted teeth.
'Right. Yes. Leaving...should I close the doors?' she added as she made her way back to them.
'Khushi!!!' his voice held a great deal of annoyance now.
'Right. Of course.' With that she shut them behind her with a clank leaving him staring after her in pure amazement. He didn't know what else to feel, the girl truly baffled him. She managed to annoy and amuse him at the same time.
Once he was dressed he made his way back to the lounge with the empty cup and saucer, which he had not drunk out of as Khushi, out of nervousness, had spilled all the contents of it on to his carpet. Anjali and Nani were seated there but Khushi was no where to be seen. As Arnav took his seat he heard Anjali come to a decision regarding something with Nani.
'Yes, I too was thinking that we should go after what she told us, or rather did not tell us about yesterday. It'll be some support for her. Yes Nani. We shall go.' Anjali nodded in agreement as she finished her tea, getting ready to leave.
'Where are you off to Di? I thought we all agreed that you weren't going to Chetan's.' He stated.
'Hunh? Oh no, not there. Nani and I were discussing how we should go to NHC, to be there for Khushi. She just left, about ten minutes ago. We wanted to be there for her, it's a difficult time for her and this way we can meet her family too. So me and Nani were going to lea-'
'Yeah ok, let's go.' Said Arnav getting up.
'You...you're going to come with us?' Anjali asked, stunned by his ready attitude.
'Yeah.' Arnav affirmed as if it was the most normal thing ever.
'Aren't you going in for work?' Nani now asked, she too surprised by her grandson's sudden inclination to go.
'It's Saturday Nani.'
'Which has never stopped you before.' Anjali said while Nani chibed, 'You go into work on Sundays too, Chotay.'
'Well I'm finally listening to your complaints and am deciding to spend my Saturday with you and you guys now have a problem with that too?' Arnav said defensively. Why did they have to ask so many questions, couldn't they just be happy that he was going with them?
'Oh...umm...no. Not at all. It's just quite out of the blue.' Nani explained.
'Yeah. Well...umm what did you have in mind? This is nice, its' been so long since we have spent a Saturday together. What do you want to do today Chotay?' Anjali asked, as she took her seat again, enthused at the idea of spending the day with her brother.
'Hunh? What? Aren't we going to NHC, I thought you wanted to be with Khushi.' It was his turn to be confused now.
'Yes, but that was before you decided to take the day off. Now I know you don't want to be spending your time there, you're not a fan of hospitals or Khushi so we can do something else and I'll go later to see her and the family.' Anjali offered.
'No. Its' fine Di. I don't want you to cancel your plans because of me. Beisdes I don't have any problems in going there. We can go there first and then do something else later.' He suggested.
'Are you sure, Chotay?' Anjali asked.
'Yes. Now do you want to get going, or not?'
'Yes. Yes. Let us. Come on Nani.' Anjali said, beckoning her grandmother to get up. Both were still quite astonished by the turn of events, but happy too and so went without another word. Arnav was happy to have an excuse to see Khushi again. Thus messaged Aman to take the day off too, which he was incredibly shocked to hear.
Twenty minutes later they arrived into the NHC parking lot, where he dropped Anjali and Nani while they made their way into the centre and he went off to park the car. Five minutes later when he walked into the corridor of the ensuite he had gotten her Bauji, he stumbled upon a scene that made his blood boil. He had not realized what exactly the "difficult time" Khushi was going through, Anjali had reffered to. He had thought it was her father's heart condition, but it was time for him to find out that there was more to it, a lot more to it, than he had ever thought.
However, after coming to this resolve he had formed another one too: the one he had begun working on even before he had admitted to himself the true reasons around his concern for Khushi. This was that while he would not pursue her he would also not let her go. That is, just because he could not have her didn't mean he would let her out of his life. He was going to make sure that she stayed in Delhi, near him always where he could at least see her, speak to her, have her presence in his life, for he knew that he could deny himself her hand but he would not be able bear a separation. The very thought of not seeing her made him restless, thus he knew that no matter what happened he would always make sure that Khushi would remain a part of his life, be it only as a designer at LaANK or a pay-in-guest at his house, he could not and would not let her out his life, he would use whatever means possible to ensure that she remained near him, just the way he had done at NHC, where he had gotten her father admitted.
His mind full of these thoughts he finally proceeded in to the lounge and came into hearing distance of their conversation. Someone, possibly Anjali herself, had informed Khushi about the occurrence of the night before and thus she was consoling Anjali regarding it.
'Di, I understand, believe me I do. I know its' not easy to just let go of someone you deeply cared for or trusted, someone you gave your love too. So I understand your heartbreak over his death, but Di, that man doesn't deserve your grief, you owe him nothing. So I would advise you against going over to his place, it will do nothing but hurt you to see him and his family. Di if they cared about you they would have called not just today but in the last year after their son left you, but they didn't. They didn't stop and think for once what their son did to you, if they cared even the slightest for you they would have cut ties with their son and supported you. But they turned their backs on you. So why go there Di, it will only hurt you. You tell me how I should move on, forget Shyam, how he doesn't deserve my love, then why don't you do the same. Di, I know you can't chose who you love, it just happens, but you can chose to be with that person or not. If one is lucky that person deserves their love and you can be with them, but if you're unfortunate in the person you fall for then you have to take the awful decision and turn away from them to spare your heart. That's not selfish, its' the right thing to do. Sometimes...sometimes just because you love someone it doesn't mean that you should be with them too. In our case Di, we have to take heed of those words. Neither Shyam nor Chetan ji deserves our love and so you owe him nothing in life or death.
'So I say you shouldn't go to attend that man's last rights puja. He doesn't deserve your presence there. He is lucky enough that you mourned him: that you forgave him. That is your generosity, for he does not deserve it, he did not even regret leaving you Di, so in my opinion you should not have even forgiven him. But alas your forgiveness is your's to give and you giving it is your goodness, none of his. But that's all Di that was the only thing tying you to him, your forgiveness, which you have given, now you don't need to do anything else for that man.'
'Well said bitya.' Nani commended, before Arnav could have echoed the same sentiment. He had no idea Anjali had been intending on joining in the last right ceremony of that man, if he had he too would have stopped her. Although he may not have been able to say it as well as Khushi had said. For he could see Anjali taking in every word she spoke and understanding that she owed that man nothing. If it had been to Arnav it would have merely been an order which she would have abided but would not have realized it was for her own good. 'She's right Anjali bitya. You need not go there, it will only trouble you. His family would only taunt you for coming instead of being grateful. Don't go.'
'They're right Di, you don't need to go.' Arnav now voiced his opinion too, making them all start up as they had not noticed him come in.
'Chotay! When did you come?' Anjali asked in a pitch higher than usual. She had not wanted Arnav to know about her deliberating to go as she knew what his answer would be, but moreso that he would be angry at Chetan for making her think about going there.
'Just when you were discussing what you didn't want me to hear.' Arnav replied, not even pretending to not know why Anjali had chosen to discuss this while he had been out on his jog.
'Chotay, I...' Anjali went red out of unease. He walked around the coffee table between them and came to kneel in between her and Khushi.
'Di. You don't have to feel mortified just because I found out. I'm not angry at you for hiding it, I know why you did, my views about that man is not hidden from anyone. In fact, Di I'm sorry that my views about him made you feel as though you couldn't share something with me. Di please now that you can always share anything with me, I'll hear you, always.'
'Chotay...No...please you don't be sorry. I'm sorry Chotay, for making you think...in fact I wish to apologise to all of you, for troubling you, for something so silly. You're all right of course. Of course I needn't go there, why should I? To tell you the truth I think I knew that all along too, but just needed someone to remind me: that I owe that man nothing. So thank you. Thank you all of you.' with that she hugged both Arnav and Khushi, as they were sitting next to her, whereas Nani was on the couch perpendicular to them. Her embrace brought Arnav and Khushi into an awkward embrace too. Where they both felt their heartbeats elevate at the proximity but didn't know what to do, as breaking the hug would be offensive towards Anjali who was showing her appreciation to them and staying init meant being close to the other, when both had vowed for different reasons to be as far away from the other as possible. Arnav as he didn't trust himself in her close proximity and Khushi, who after Nainital, had promised to never let him come more than an arms distance near her, as she had no interest in hearing more about her "loose character" from to him. She may have forgiven his jumping to conclusions regarding her, but she had not forgotten. It hurt that he thought so lowly of her. She didn't know why his opinion of herself mattered so much, all she knew was that he saw her as a moraless person and that hurt. It was as though a shard of glass was lodged in between her shoulder blades, directly behind her heart, where she could feel it stab her heart with every breath she took but could not position her hands correctly to pull it out and stop the pain it brought.
Anjali finaly broke out of the hug and the two leaped away from the other. Khushi jumped to the edge of the sofa, while Arnav sprung up.
'Uh...I'm going to go shower...' he explained, after Anjali shot him a questioning glance for his sudden manoeuvre. 'Ummm...tell HP to bring my tea in the room.' He added as an afterthought as he walked towards his room. He was gone so fast that he didn't get a chance to hear that Hari Prakash wasn't even home, hence, twenty minutes later it came as a shock to him to find Khushi in his room with his morning tea.
'What the-?!! Khushi Kumari Gupta what are you doing here?!!' he asked in a strained voice.
But she couldn't reply as her vocal chords were paralysed due to the shock of finding him in merely a towel. He followed her wide-eyed gaze and realized why her face had gone white and hands were trembling, causing his tea to spill everywhere. Sh*t. He cursed under his breath. Today out of all days he had not taken his clothes into the bathroom with him. Courtesy of Khushi, as his head had been full of her thoughts, or rather her scent, while he had been so close to her during the hug that he had walked in to the ensuite without even taking his clothes out.
He turned around, as did she, finally realizing gaping at him wouldn't get rid of the image of his wet and finely toned abs out of sight. Once he was facing the wall, it occurred to him that just because he could no longer see her, didn't meant that she couldn't either, for he had no idea whether she was still looking his way or not, thus he jumped next to his cupboard that would block him from anyone's vision, while he had a full view of the room and therefore Khushi, or rather her back.
'Uuhhh...I...I...I j-just came to give yo-you ss-ome tea. Ha-Hari Prakash ji has gone t-to get some th-things for the mandirr.' She stammered facing towards the door. Then began backing towards his coffee table, first hit it, causing the already clattering cup and saucer to clutter yet again due to the hit, then finally placed it on the table with shaky hands, all the while with her face towards the door. Once she had placed it on the table she rushed towards the door, she was nearly out of the room, when suddenly remembering something she entered again. This time with her hands on her eyes, as she came in with her face towards him. 'I...Uh...I also wanted to thank you...for what you did for my Bauji. Yesterday, I was too angry to realize that I should be thanking you for getting him into NHC, so thank you.' With that she turned to leave again, only to stop and turn back round as an after thought occurred to her, 'But that doesn't mean that I agree to let you pay for the treatment, I'm still going to be paying, that is, you will be cutting a part of my salary so that I can pay back the fee, understand?' she re-asserted, then, 'understand?' she asked again when she got no response.
'A-Arnav ji...' she voiced and then forced herself to take a peak. She uncovered one eye, to find the room empty. Confused and shocked she uncovered both eyes and called out his name again as she began venturing into the room, trying to figure out where he had disappeared to and whether he had heard anything she had said or not.
'Stop right there Khushi Kumari Gupta.' He ordered when she was dangerously close to the edge of the wardrobe, 'I heard you, now can you please go, or do you have anything else that needs to be said at this precise moment while I'm standing here soaked and naked?'
'Uh...no. No. Soorrry. I...I just..' she stuttered out, frozen to the spot next to the cupboard.
'Leave Khushi.' He said through gritted teeth.
'Right. Yes. Leaving...should I close the doors?' she added as she made her way back to them.
'Khushi!!!' his voice held a great deal of annoyance now.
'Right. Of course.' With that she shut them behind her with a clank leaving him staring after her in pure amazement. He didn't know what else to feel, the girl truly baffled him. She managed to annoy and amuse him at the same time.
Once he was dressed he made his way back to the lounge with the empty cup and saucer, which he had not drunk out of as Khushi, out of nervousness, had spilled all the contents of it on to his carpet. Anjali and Nani were seated there but Khushi was no where to be seen. As Arnav took his seat he heard Anjali come to a decision regarding something with Nani.
'Yes, I too was thinking that we should go after what she told us, or rather did not tell us about yesterday. It'll be some support for her. Yes Nani. We shall go.' Anjali nodded in agreement as she finished her tea, getting ready to leave.
'Where are you off to Di? I thought we all agreed that you weren't going to Chetan's.' He stated.
'Hunh? Oh no, not there. Nani and I were discussing how we should go to NHC, to be there for Khushi. She just left, about ten minutes ago. We wanted to be there for her, it's a difficult time for her and this way we can meet her family too. So me and Nani were going to lea-'
'Yeah ok, let's go.' Said Arnav getting up.
'You...you're going to come with us?' Anjali asked, stunned by his ready attitude.
'Yeah.' Arnav affirmed as if it was the most normal thing ever.
'Aren't you going in for work?' Nani now asked, she too surprised by her grandson's sudden inclination to go.
'It's Saturday Nani.'
'Which has never stopped you before.' Anjali said while Nani chibed, 'You go into work on Sundays too, Chotay.'
'Well I'm finally listening to your complaints and am deciding to spend my Saturday with you and you guys now have a problem with that too?' Arnav said defensively. Why did they have to ask so many questions, couldn't they just be happy that he was going with them?
'Oh...umm...no. Not at all. It's just quite out of the blue.' Nani explained.
'Yeah. Well...umm what did you have in mind? This is nice, its' been so long since we have spent a Saturday together. What do you want to do today Chotay?' Anjali asked, as she took her seat again, enthused at the idea of spending the day with her brother.
'Hunh? What? Aren't we going to NHC, I thought you wanted to be with Khushi.' It was his turn to be confused now.
'Yes, but that was before you decided to take the day off. Now I know you don't want to be spending your time there, you're not a fan of hospitals or Khushi so we can do something else and I'll go later to see her and the family.' Anjali offered.
'No. Its' fine Di. I don't want you to cancel your plans because of me. Beisdes I don't have any problems in going there. We can go there first and then do something else later.' He suggested.
'Are you sure, Chotay?' Anjali asked.
'Yes. Now do you want to get going, or not?'
'Yes. Yes. Let us. Come on Nani.' Anjali said, beckoning her grandmother to get up. Both were still quite astonished by the turn of events, but happy too and so went without another word. Arnav was happy to have an excuse to see Khushi again. Thus messaged Aman to take the day off too, which he was incredibly shocked to hear.
Twenty minutes later they arrived into the NHC parking lot, where he dropped Anjali and Nani while they made their way into the centre and he went off to park the car. Five minutes later when he walked into the corridor of the ensuite he had gotten her Bauji, he stumbled upon a scene that made his blood boil. He had not realized what exactly the "difficult time" Khushi was going through, Anjali had reffered to. He had thought it was her father's heart condition, but it was time for him to find out that there was more to it, a lot more to it, than he had ever thought.
*****
RSS Feed
